Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Married and Happy at 25 or 65?


















One of my favorite shows on Sun Tv during festival days is to watch the "Pattimandram" which is the tamilian version of a debate with Solomon Pappaiya as the moderator. His snide remarks and sattirical humor always make watching the pattimandram more enjoyable. Usually, he starts out by giving a prelude to the topic of debate and there are 2 teams with 3 speakers who take turns and speak one after the other opposing their opponent's views and strengthening their own arguement. After everyone has spoken, the moderator finally gives his verdict on the winning side using his rationale from the debate. This year's pattimandram topic on Deepavali day was, "Does happiness in life come out of marriage when you are 25 years or does it come when you are at 65 years."

I am just trying to sum up the arguments made by the speakers and of course, add my two cents to it, too. Life at 25 is definitely lots of fun, a road to new beginnings, fulfilment of dreams and desires etc. Being engaged, falling in love and getting married (either the arranged way or other way), the first job, the first date, first anniversary, first gift, first baby, so many firsts make it all so much worth living for. The first fight with your spouse, followed by several others in due course etc. are also part of the works. Of course, making up after such tiffs and the lessons learnt about your partner are all part of the marriage game at 25. Also, life at 25 is filled with changes and rushes past by without the extra time to savor and enjoy the niceties.

Life at 65 is laid back and comes with a sense of contentment. A pension and secure savings provide the financial stability, while dependecy on a son/daughter may also rock this age. There are times when the son/daughter may not always be that patient or accomodative with your old age quirks, but, if your significant other is around, it makes living more bearable. While sparks don't fly off at a glance into each other's eyes and you don't even have to touch the other person, there is a comfortable silence and mute understanding of what your spouse is thinking at this wise old age. Listening to your wife cough through the night, may not be that pleasant and happy, but, getting up in your tottering steps to fetch her a glass of water and gently holding her hand, may bring happiness and comfort. If your grandfather is out on a hot sunny day to the near by post-office and isn't back at his usual time, the concern on your grandmother's face and the way she walks to the door and peeps out, is probably the best depiction of what love is at that age.

Finally, the verdict was given to Marriage and happiness being enjoyed the most at 65 and not at 25 years. At 25, a lot of the feelings are passionate and associated with physical needs and superficial, but, is like bright spring season, with the blossoming of flowers and color. At 65, life in a marriage is about sharing concerns of who might die first and what will happen to the other spouse and is shared from the heart and soul and is like the changing colors and falling leaves of fall season. Enjoy and savor the thrills of married life at 25, for those are probably the best times in one's life and welcome old age with grace.

Thanks to the moderator Solomon Pappaiya for a thought provoking topic and a befitting verdict.

13 comments:

anudivya said...

That was such a nice pleasant read Mitr. There is another program called "neeya naana", I think on Vijay (but on youtube too) which I think deals with a lot of present day topics and the host is just fantastic. If you haven't watched it, it is a must see.

Aparna said...

:) Guess I am the wrong person to talk about the verdict or even the topic :D but hey everyone has opinions right? After my experience, I would just say that one should savour every moment of happiness be it at 25 or 65 or something in between :D or later...never know what is around the corner right?! that is from my exp :D
And yes, I think you will like neeya naana on Vijay TV. Try catch that.

Cham said...

It has been years I watched patty mandram. Interesting topic, At 25 u cannot look back some pleasant moments, only live, but in 65 you can do both :)

Vidhya said...

Thats a wonderful topic. Nejamaana pattimandram patha satisfaction. Thanks

Sangeeth said...

I love this patimandram too.....always looking forward to watch as many points discussed would be really good and I like Raja's speech very much!Also as Anu said Neeya naana is also good

na_an said...

I think this summary was better than the patimandram. Somehow I felt most of the arguments were very trivial and was only aimed at making people laugh and not think. Honestly, I don't think a comparison can be made, as you go through different experiences at different stages of the married life. The happiness of the married life depends on how well you deal with the challenges thrown at you, as a person and as a couple. my 2 cents :-)

Krishnan said...

Mitr, as earlier commentator remarked, your sum-up was more interesting than the actual pattimandram itself ! I did catch few minutes of that program on Deepavali. Yes Solomon Pappiah is a huge hit with everybody. The way he goes about with humor-filed asides is something to savor.

Laksh said...

Nice summary. Must have been one good pattimandram. Thanks for posting this.

DEESHA said...

i guess the journery from 25 to 65 with your partner is what defines happiness .. soo many momories to cherish all along the journey

Uma said...

Never knew about this show! Interesting topic.

Priya said...

I've also loved watching pattimandrams during festival days and since I was away at work, didnt get to watch this, so thanks for the nice summary!

Kayal said...

I too enjoyed the patti mandram very much. It has always been a must watch program in our house during festival times. I too go with the verdict what Solomon sir has given. nice post.

SASA said...

super..attagasamaana write up!
i love solomon papaiya for his cynical jokes! Probably only after he started being a judge, I started liking pattimandrams, he sure fits the bill.