Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Today's blog is about a person who is a good friend and who is going through a lot at the moment.

Talked to this friend after years recently, we have known each other from our school going days and had lost touch in the past 4-5 years. I have known her as someone who had a lot of zest for life, very enthusiastic, fun-loving person whose mere presence brought a smile to the people around her. We caught up with each other on the happenings of the past 4 years and i was shocked to hear and visualize the transformation that this girl has undergone.

Although, i don't want to go into the personal details of her life, it was indeed heart wrenching to hear how misunderstanding, poor communication and contradicting expectations between a couple could lead to painful events. Inspite of the saying that marriages are made in heaven and that as per Indian arranged marriages, tying the knot to a stranger and marrying into a different family etc forms the basis for everlasting bonding of true love-there is nothing like a misfit couple who are unable to overcome their differences and cause one another immense pain and hurt all the time. Even a simple, polite conversation is filled with tensions and sarcasms. It is not like the two parties involved are bad people or something, its just that they bring out the worst in each other when they interact on a daily basis.

What does this kind of living do do a self confident person?

Does he/she go into depression cos they no longer have any self-esteem or trust in themselves and strength in their heart to put themselves through more trying times?

And, what is the treatment for this kind of condition- is a prescription of anti-depressant tablets along with a few tranquilizers and counseling sessions with a therapist going to bring that person back to their old self?

What is it going to take on the part of both individuals to come through this and what if one of them doesn't have the will to take anymore of this tension and stress?

I just hope and pray that the supreme force that we all believe in works miracles in the minds of such folks and brings sanity and peace into their lives.


Balaji said...

but what r THEY doing about it? its fine to hope for miracles but they gotta start things off, don't they? that old adage about God helping those who help themselves...
and taking the opp. pt of view, why r they still together if their life together is living hell? kids? scared of social stigma?

Rags said...

As you said, we definitely need a miracle. After facing such a tragedy in marriage life, it really will take lot of will power to start a new life, but as balaji says we need a start.

I pray God to help your friend forget this as a bitter past and comes back as a person you knew 4 yrs back.

Raju said...

IMHO, they have to 'sit down and talk openly' on what is going on, why and what can be done to rectify things. From what you have written, it is clear that both of them are good and must be really tired of the proceedings. 'Poor communication' is something you mentioned. Cant afford to maintain it that way..

Nowadays, with both husband and wife career-oriented, it becomes hard to satisfy the expectations of both. That needs to be sorted out too..

Well, having quite a bit of experience, I can understand how things do turn out sometime. Having a open talk has helped us a lot.

mitr_bayarea said...

Thanks everyone for your suggestions and responses- hopefully, things should go right for them.

Vanathi said...

Nothing is Impossible for God!