Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Seed of Jealousy


Pic: Courtesy google image

As someone once told me, "Life is a like a train journey, you will meet new people and you will say goodbye to old friends, as and when the train passes through each station". I did not fully comprehend the meaning of this, until more recently. There was a time in my life, during school and college years when my life would revolve around friends. Like many others, I was part of a group of girls (having studied in an all girls school and college) and we would spend most of our time, both in and outside school/college hanging out with the others, spending hours together chatting on the phone, going out to see movies, shopping or simply just camping out at another girl's house on the pretext of doing combined/group studies.

As life moved on and with it came higher education, jobs and marriages that took us to different destinations, the day to day communication and face to face meetings became impossible. Slowly, our contacts dwindled to staying in touch via email and catching up on instant messenger when the varying time zones made it possible to happen. As the years moved on and life's routine and demands of a family, career etc. took over, it became evident as to which friends took the extra time to even do that minimal email and stay in touch. The best analogy I can think of is how a filter functions by filtering the unwanted particles and gives you a clear solution. The more times the filtration process happens, the more clearer and purer is the resulting solution. A group of 20 friends from college slowly dwindled down to 5 friends over the years. Amongst those 5 friends, especially, amongst the girls (a separate post will be done on the male friendships), as the years grow by and parallel lives emerged, comparisons and petty jealousies became inevitable.

I've always wondered why is it that girl roomates don't get along and have problems or issues with their companions, unlike guys, who hardly have any issues, even when they have more than 2 or 3 roomates sharing a place. The answer is simple, though jarring to admit, being a girl- girls are picky about most things, petty about sharing stuff and unadjustable and inflexible in many ways. Even if two best friend girls share a room, at some point, issues will crop up due to comparisons (what she has is better and so much good than what I have) and as a result the feeling of jealousy springs up and slowly the friendship starts falling apart. I maybe so biased, but, rarely, have I seen two guy pals who whine, complain and compare that one has a better job, better looks, a better life etc.

Why is it that the female population slowly degrades when they allow the seed of jealousy to take over their friendhips etc. If you believe in karma, than, your life has already been determined by your kismat and the good deeds that you perform will surely bring about good results. What you sow, is what you reap! Then, why allow petty comparisons starting from the car you own to the house you have to the gender of the baby you have and on and on take over your emotional intelligence and cause so much of negativity in your heart. Nothing positive is going to come out of this experience. I am not trying to pick on the girl friends, but there are even sisters, who compare and contrast all the things they each have in their lives. It will be helpful to keep in mind that rarely does any woman have it all. Every person has their own share of joys, sorrows and baggage to deal with in life. While, for some the complaining and whining makes it sound more evident, for, others dealing with life as such makes it a lot more easier.

Phew......putting all those feelings in words was exhausting......until the next post, keep in touch with your girl friends and stay positive and be cheerful, after all, being a girl is so much more fun in many ways.

9 comments:

Laksh said...

I agree and disagree. Agree cos I have seen the petty jealousies flare up and destroy what could have been good relationships and disagree because the filtration process you mention only leaves behind people bereft of those petty emotions. At least from my experience. Perhaps, I have been lucky. :) Nice post and one worth thinking about.

priya krishnan said...

Not true at all. I've lived with women and men as roommates. They are the same. There are no generalizations today.

Jayashree said...

It's not so much that women are more prone to jealousy.....I think it is just the fact that women find it much, much more difficult to forget, forgive and move on.

Shri said...

hey mitr..jealously is a trait not kind to men and women equally...
but just ask yourselves...is what you think or categorise as jealousy really jealousy?

go beyond the obvious reasons of comparisons and insecurity....why is the person behaving the way they are and why are you reacting the way you do....

think

AJEYA RAO said...

Well written...Its not that jealousy does not exist in Men, it does but the extent and the way it is dealt with is different perhaps. But i agree its one f the most disturbign nature of people.

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

Very nice post! Thought provoking...

Visit this page when yuo find time..U might find it interesting! :)

http://princessofgold.blogspot.com/2006/06/why-is-it-that-women-are-more.html

Sachita said...

M, you know my opinion on this. but wanted to sya this was really well written:)

flowers said...

Hobbies plays a key role for the people who really came to the earth for this purpose, one or the other day people around the world would be discussing about the people who have collected Many World Coins,monuments, old stamps, old notes who will be positioned in the world of Guinness records.

Moonshine said...

:) good one! blogs are blocked in china so have to use some "special effects" to read this, hence the delay in comments!