Turning your failure into your success. Getting a job after you are fired.

Title: Getting a job after you are fired.

Published in The HINDU Opportunities on February 29, 2012

Link to the published article
http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-opportunities/article2944016.ece

With the global economic crisis and uncertainty in our workplaces, getting fired or being laid-off is a bitter incident that could have already occurred in your life or one that you are likely to face in the future. “Getting fired is a lot like getting divorced,” says Steve Johnson, Vice President of Information Systems for R.L. Stevens and Associates Inc. a leading international career marketing firm. All you hear is ‘I don't want you anymore' and the feeling of being rejected.

Here are some thoughts on how you can overcome this setback and move forward positively and confidently towards achieving success.

Looking into yourself

Whether you were fired for poor performance or were let go because of company downsizing, now is a good time to do some self-examination. Own your success and your failures. Gather the inner strength to get up and move on instead of mulling over past mistakes. Learn from what went wrong in your last job and be aware of your own errors and focus on how you can look forward to making new opportunities click. The best way to do this is to understand what strengths you have and how you possess the wisdom to know the difference between opportunity lost and possibility found.

Know yourself, have a plan, make an impression. After you are fired, the power needed to transform a job loss into a catalyst that gains job offers is simple and straightforward-

Identify yourself. Untangle your sense of job from your sense of self

Chart a five-year plan for career and know what steps you need to take to get you there

Stay in focus and be persistent in your efforts even when you face obstacles and rejection

Pampering yourself

When was the last time you took a vacation or a break without having to worry about asking for time off at work or having to carry your laptop with you to stay in touch with your colleagues? Take a vacation now to clear your head and get a fresh perspective. It is a good idea to not lose focus of your job search, but try to make use of the extra time that you have available. Starting an exercise regimen and working out on a daily basis will help keep your body and mind recharged. Pursuing a new hobby or renewing a lost interest in an area that you enjoy will keep you happy.

Finally, use the time to gauge how much time you are spending with your family now and if your next career decision needs to take that into account, as well.

Exploring options and getting back on track

Instead of moaning about the loss of employment for more than one working day, welcome your firing as an unexpected career advancement to move up to the next level. Update your resume, polish your interviewing skills and equip yourself by knowing the latest happenings in your field. Start talking to ex-colleagues and network with friends who may act as potential leads for the next opportunity. Explore options on transforming your work experience into being a consultant. Using multiple career marketing strategies simultaneously will ensure that failure is never an option.

Don't limit your choices to only what you truly want, but, be willing to make compromises and stay flexible to land yourself the next position.

It is easy to look at successful people and envy their situation. What you often don't see is the story behind what they went through to get there. Many successful CEOs and top people are ones who have been fired from positions in their professional careers and been through painful experiences. What set them apart are the lessons that they took away from such challenging experiences and not repeating those mistakes. Here are some common pitfalls to avoid: Don't take your job for granted. Take the time to clarify expectations early on in the job with your boss to avoid unpleasant situations and lastly, don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Remember to constantly look out for yourself and don't assume that today's promotion or raise will make you an irreplaceable employee. You have to keep raising the bar.

Writing- A New Beginning

Title: Growth spurt in the online retail sector

Published in The HINDU Opportunities section on February 22, 2012

Link to the published article
http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-opportunities/article2917882.ece


http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-opportunities/article2917882.ece

Against the backdrop of an accelerating modern retail market, India offers to be an attractive hub for domestic and international retailers seeking emerging markets. The online shopping market is a rapidly growing sector.

In contrast to the environment of an aging world population, India's advantage of having a large young population contributes to the increasing growth and popularity of this sector.

In a country that has a large proportion of its working-age population contributing to its lucrative consumer base and where people rely on metro cities for finding commodities with good quality and wide selection, online shopping offers a more varied, hassle-free and interesting shopping experience.

There are several perks to an online shopping experience such as 24 hour shopping, having rich product availability and taking the time to do comparisons, including having the ability to conduct online research on the products that one might like to buy. Unlike conventional shopping, the net savvy customer can get a detailed account of the specifications on a product through their website. Further, the hassle of packaging and posting a purchased gift can also be avoided. Added to this, several online shopping websites offer discounts, free shipping and price comparison checks on certain items to lure online shoppers. There are many career opportunities opening up in this sector, here is a look at the employment aspects in this sector.

Skill sets

Although workers can gain informal on-the-job training, a degree in business management is a basic prerequisite. Diploma and certificate courses in retail management, ecommerce, retail selling, retail marketing management or logistics & supply chain management are helpful to gain entry into the retail industry. Pursuing a MBA in Retail Management makes a candidate more employable.

This field requires people who have good analytical and reasoning skills besides being strong communicators (oral and verbal skills). It is beneficial to be aware of current market trends and understand the general business and have an entrepreneurial spirit.

As the online retailing involves creating fancy websites, candidates need to be familiar with e-commerce principles. Start-ups and online retail sites look for candidates who have core skills like product sourcing, warehousing and logistics background. Due to the increase in number of online retail businesses, it is necessary for aspirants to also improve their sales skills, customer dealing abilities and familiarise themselves on how to research market demands.

There are several educational institutions throughout the country that offer courses at the graduation and post-graduation level to equip students with the requisite skills. Some institutes that offer courses in Retail Management are: ACCMAN Institute of Management, Noida, Indian Institute of Retail Training, New Delhi, National Institute of Retail Management, Bangalore, Madras Institute of Retail Management, Chennai and Birla Institute of Management Technology, New Delhi.

Roles

A wide range of jobs are available in this profession that range from an online associate to a top level executive. Typical and unique roles in the online retail sector include customer support, internet marketing executives, retail merchandise managers, relationship managers, brand awareness executives, web programmers, graphic designers, IT project managers, supply chain professionals, category managers and zonal and area sales executives. The role of a Category Manager requires people with knowledge of the entire product category starting from launch to finish. Going up the ladder, candidates applying for the role of Retail Services Lead should possess strong online retail management experience and the ability to work with different segments such as marketing, sales, merchandising, project management and technology. Customer service roles are also available that involve handling customer inquiries by phone, replying to customer emails and communicating with clients for pre and post sales.

Employment potential

According to the Associated Chambers of Commerce and Industry of India (ASSOCHAM), the online retail industry is expected to be worth Rs.7,000 crore by 2015 due to easy availability of broadband services and increasing internet penetration. “A booming economy and rising disposable incomes have contributed to the evolution of online shopping,” says ASSOCHAM secretary general, D. S. Rawat. The buying-selling trends from leading online shopping portals indicated that online retail market currently stands at Rs. 2,000 crore and is growing at a steady annual rate of 35 per cent.

With India poised to become the third largest nation of internet users in the next year along with a substantial chunk of youngsters eager to embrace new technologies with rapidly changing lifestyles, online retailing is certainly on the growth trajectory. This forecast suggests that the sector may produce 20, 00,000 jobs by 2013 directly through retail operations.

Key players

EBay and Amazon are the market leaders in online shopping in the world. However, local players are gaining popularity in India. Flipkart is among the country's largest online retailer and continues to diversify from an online bookstore into media, consumer electronics, computers, healthcare and home appliances for its users. It offers path-breaking services like Cash on Delivery, a 30 day replacement policy, EMI options, free shipping and electronic wallet. Snapdeal.com, a coupon and deals website offers consumers discounts on dining, health, beauty services, branded products, travel and more. EBay.in, Infibeam.com, SoSasta.com, Indiaplaza.in, Naaptol.com and FutureBazaar.com are other popular websites that offer online shopping in India. So, if you have a keen interest in online retail, and would like to enter the realm of online shopping, the future is promising and offers lot of potential to build a career.

A Milestone Year

After almost a year of being away from active blogging, I finally forced myself to post something on what has been a milestone year in my life during the past months.

A lot has happened and I wonder where to begin. The biggest and life changing event was that I had a baby during the summer last year. A baby boy! His entry into my life, just like any other mother's, has been wonderful, rewarding and a lot of work. I stopped working for a while and life became a rhythmic routine of feedings, diaper changes and sleepless nights. The parental/in-laws coverage and help lasted for the initial months and time took a new dimension afterwards.

The monotony of the daily chores and the worries of not being able to find a suitable position in an economy where the unemployment rate was over 10%, had me job hunting during the times when I should have either caught up on sleep or spent more time enjoying my lil K. Nevertheless, I ended up finding a job within the same field. If life was busy with an infant before, it got crazier, it still is. Most days it feels like the Kamal song in Avvai Shanmughi, one man donning several roles and doing multiple things and going to bed at 3 am. What with a new job that was demanding and with the parents returning to India, we ended up sending lil K to daycare. As simple as it sounds, trying to summarize all this in a sentence only dimishes the days and nights of emotional turmoil that most working women go through, the decisions about what could be the best possible childcare arrangement and the feelings of guilt that accompany the decision, no matter what.

Well,I guess that is the update for one post. With so many things happening so fast in life, every day during the past year, I've wanted to write, but just couldn't get to it, mainly due to lack of time. Want to start a separate blog on motherhood and babies (nothing unique there), want to write about all the milestones, the joys, fears, Q&As about babies etc. Maybe, I will get to it someday in the near future. Want to write about working moms, non working moms, spouses who help and who don't, about babies and their evolving selves, about a generation of parents living in India who are caught between taking care of their older parents versus helping out their sons and daughters with their kids here in the US, about the biggest decision that every Desi living in the US faces at some point in their life- whether to go back to India or settle down here etc. and a million other topics that whiz past me in the day to day living. Until then, I hope to use this blog to express myself. Finally, want to thank all the blogger pals who have dropped into this space with your comments and still make enquiries about my whereabouts. I will catch up on my blog reads whenever possible.

Hasn't 2009 been a milestone year and 2010 seems to be flying more quickly.

Happy Tamil New Year!

Reaching the Five Year Landmark

Yet another summer morning with the Californian sun is here, it is a regular week day, but, still, in my mind, this is a special day. Not because another year has passed by and we've completed yet another anniversary, but, because today we've reached a small milestone- five years of marriage.

Ours was an arranged marriage and with every passing year we've embraced our share of differences, created memories, shared secrets and learned to respect and love each other. When I flip through old emails and see the one that has a picture of him that I first saw, it brings a smile to my face. I still remember our first meeting, the words exchanged, the glances that crept across the room and the conversations that followed. There is definitely something romantic about marrying the first guy who officially comes to see you.

As the years pass by, and we build a life together, I watch our relationship take its own shape and form. Every happening and life's events brings us more closer and makes us feel more appreciative of the blessings we have.

With renewed vigor and enthusiasm, I look forward to the years ahead, with him by my side, holding my hand, as we step into the next phase in our lives.

Happy Anniversary.....

Perfect Mate By Karl Fuchs

After many years of trying
To be the perfect mate,
You've still keep up the effort,
And that's why you're so great.

My love for you keeps growing,
With each year that goes past;
The enjoyable times I spend with you
Are really quite a blast!

The Seed of Jealousy

Pic: Courtesy google image

As someone once told me, "Life is a like a train journey, you will meet new people and you will say goodbye to old friends, as and when the train passes through each station". I did not fully comprehend the meaning of this, until more recently. There was a time in my life, during school and college years when my life would revolve around friends. Like many others, I was part of a group of girls (having studied in an all girls school and college) and we would spend most of our time, both in and outside school/college hanging out with the others, spending hours together chatting on the phone, going out to see movies, shopping or simply just camping out at another girl's house on the pretext of doing combined/group studies.

As life moved on and with it came higher education, jobs and marriages that took us to different destinations, the day to day communication and face to face meetings became impossible. Slowly, our contacts dwindled to staying in touch via email and catching up on instant messenger when the varying time zones made it possible to happen. As the years moved on and life's routine and demands of a family, career etc. took over, it became evident as to which friends took the extra time to even do that minimal email and stay in touch. The best analogy I can think of is how a filter functions by filtering the unwanted particles and gives you a clear solution. The more times the filtration process happens, the more clearer and purer is the resulting solution. A group of 20 friends from college slowly dwindled down to 5 friends over the years. Amongst those 5 friends, especially, amongst the girls (a separate post will be done on the male friendships), as the years grow by and parallel lives emerged, comparisons and petty jealousies became inevitable.

I've always wondered why is it that girl roomates don't get along and have problems or issues with their companions, unlike guys, who hardly have any issues, even when they have more than 2 or 3 roomates sharing a place. The answer is simple, though jarring to admit, being a girl- girls are picky about most things, petty about sharing stuff and unadjustable and inflexible in many ways. Even if two best friend girls share a room, at some point, issues will crop up due to comparisons (what she has is better and so much good than what I have) and as a result the feeling of jealousy springs up and slowly the friendship starts falling apart. I maybe so biased, but, rarely, have I seen two guy pals who whine, complain and compare that one has a better job, better looks, a better life etc.

Why is it that the female population slowly degrades when they allow the seed of jealousy to take over their friendhips etc. If you believe in karma, than, your life has already been determined by your kismat and the good deeds that you perform will surely bring about good results. What you sow, is what you reap! Then, why allow petty comparisons starting from the car you own to the house you have to the gender of the baby you have and on and on take over your emotional intelligence and cause so much of negativity in your heart. Nothing positive is going to come out of this experience. I am not trying to pick on the girl friends, but there are even sisters, who compare and contrast all the things they each have in their lives. It will be helpful to keep in mind that rarely does any woman have it all. Every person has their own share of joys, sorrows and baggage to deal with in life. While, for some the complaining and whining makes it sound more evident, for, others dealing with life as such makes it a lot more easier.

Phew......putting all those feelings in words was exhausting......until the next post, keep in touch with your girl friends and stay positive and be cheerful, after all, being a girl is so much more fun in many ways.

The ABCs of a Hindu Ceremony in US

The last couple of weeks have been exhausting,to say the least. We organized and hosted a traditional and religious ceremony at our place. This was not our first time doing a religious ceremony in the US, but, nevertheless, the scope of the event turned out to be larger than expected. Of course, it was my choice to have it this way and I shouldn't be complaining. But, putting together the whole event drove some simple home truths into the mind.

First of all, in order to perform a hindu puja or a ritual or a homam, a lot of prep work goes into effect atleast a few days in advance to the event. This is true, no matter in which part of the world the event happens. When growing up in a traditional brahmin household in India, a religious event happens atleast every fortnight, be it the simple amavasya "tharpanam" for which the vaathiyar (priest) comes home or the more elaborate varalakshmi viratham for which also the vaathiyar comes home. Vadai and payasam and more varieties of delicacies are prepared from the start of dawn. Until now, when I had to organize a function/puja at my house, I hadn't realized how a lot of things have been taken for granted. Back in India, i used to sit in front of the TV or try all sorts of means to escape from helping poor mom in the kitchen. Here, even though, I had some family and well wishers pitching in to help, I still had to make sure everyone knew where things were in my kitchen and had to do a lot of the logistics.

The second part of the organizing and planning is for the ritual itself. Buying the necessary puja items and arranging them prior to the day of the function was the most time consuming and tedious project ever. I can now fully appreciate the efforts that my dad put in every time before we had a puja at home to go to the market to buy all the stuff. Inspite of living within walking distance to Indian stores, it still isn't the most easiest task cut out.

Another thing that I noticed about these festive/religious events is the people. What makes a simple puja/ritual complete is the people who dress up in traditional attire and show up for such functions. It takes the rich silk sarees, jewellery that is not worn on normal days and the fresh jasmine flowers (yes, we got home grown jaathi malli as its the season here in Bay Area) to bring the cultural aspect of the event to its fullest.

Last, but not the least, is the religious significance of the whole ceremony. It is one thing to have an Indian priest who drives a C-class mercedes come and perform the puja. Hindu priests are in a lucrative business big time nowadays. They may not make the pay that your typical software engineer does, but, nevertheless, their income level is closely comparable. Being an Indian priest, more importantly, in a place like California, where the desi population is abundant, the demands on their services are pretty high. Not only do they charge exhorbitant fee for their services, but, also get mileage reimbursement, hidden fee during the ritual itself saying that it will be given to God X in India (goes straight into the pocket of the priest, not the God) and also take with them the leftover stuff after the puja.

The sanctity and true significance of the ceremony are sadly lost in the stark comemrcialism and business needs of these priests. I maybe biased if I state that all Indian priests are like that, but, honestly, the majority of them fall under that category and hence even the few ones that want to be sincere and genuine need to modify their ways in order to make a livelihood and to stay in business.

All said and done, as long as our belief system is still ritual based and we fear that some ill fortune may fall upon us if we don't adhere to those practices, the trend of priests exploiting us will continue. Of course, it takes a tough mindset to shed those beliefs or even question them(especially if you've grown up with them) and to embrace the idea that God will bless us no matter whether we follow these religious rituals or not and that true faith and belief in God alone is enough to carry us through life.

Deferred Gratification

There are days when I stare out of my office window thinking about all the changes that are happening in my world and how at one time I used blogging as an active sounding board to write about stuff. These days, there is no dearth of topics to write about, but, the expressions have reached a stumbling block. Nevertheless, I hope to overcome this phase and start being able to express myself again more freely.

Over the course of months, I've had some exposure to learning few of life's valuable lessons. Yes, this post is taking a philosophical tone. I am a long term planner for the most part (meaning I plan my vacations, life changes, goals etc) for atleast a year or more into the future. I plan my weekly lunches and dinner and cook accordingly. I love a routine and try to stick with it as much as possible. I even have to know the storyline and ending of a movie before watching it, no element of unplanned surprises for me, if I can help it. But, I guess life doesn't always work that way for everybody. Things change, situations out of the ordinary crop up and you have to deal with the issue at hand.

One of the recent learnings that I gathered about myself is that I don't know what it is to defer gratification. I guess I am not alone in that respect. In today's busy and stressful world, everybody wants everything now, or atleast most people do. Starting with on-demand programming, instant ready to eat meals, instant messengers...the list is endless. Wanting it is in itself so bad, but, wanting it right NOW makes it ten times worse. There are many things in our lives that we bought on an impulse, ranging from a small thing like a pretty top to a major thing like a sports car. Of course the top that seemed pretty to you initially, doesn't sustain your interest for a long time and goes into the closet, along with the plenty of other items that would fall into the category "I just had to have it." The sports car would probably have been used for a more longer period of time (probably a few years) and then you realize that it is not practical anymore for your growing family and that you need to trade it in to buy a van.

When someone told me that delaying gratification isn't just a money principle, but is a "life principle", it felt like a light bulb went on in my head. Think about it. Which tastes better? Something cooked in the microwave in 10 minutes or in the stove. Hopefully, you said the stove as you pull your frozen food from the microwave!

I guess that by learning to delay gratification in life, a lot of success can be achieved in the longer term. There is a saying in tamil that my mom uses a lot when she talks to me, "Poruthar bhoomi aalwar", meaning the one with patience will rule the world.

Until the next post, which I hope to write soon......

Random Thoughts (RT)

Courtesy: Google Images

Considering that this blog has slowly dipped to the point of being updated once a month or so, nevertheless this is still in existence.

RT1:
Kal Penn quits acting (for now) and accepts a role as the Associate Director in the White House office of public liaison. I am happy for him and also sort of relieved that there will be no more sequels to Harold and Kumar, watched the Guantanamo bay version on big screen and thought it was gross to a large extent.

RT2: Working long hours doesn't guarantee job protection, but has become a way of survival in the US. A year when most companies have hiring freezes, no salary increases, no bonus programs etc. one must feel that they are lucky to have a job for the moment to take care of the bills. It's scary to hear stories from the Indian community in the valley of shootings, suicides etc. due to job losses, stock market crashes and home prices falling.

RT3:

Isn't going to one temple and praying to one God reap the same benefits as going to 10 temples and praying to multiple dieties? Its nice that Hinduism has so many Gods that we can choose to pray based on our needs and preferences, but still, the destination at the end of the journey is the same. I hope that this thought stays clear in my mind.

RT4: Why do the Chinese have a name in their native dialect, but then use an English name for all purposes. I recently read the basketball player Yao Ming's english name is Fred.

RT5:

With that, have a "good" Friday and a great easter weekend.

Horror Flicks

Picture: Courtesy google image

The recently released tamil movie, Yaavarum Nalam had me thinking about this genre of films. I am one of those people whose tolerance to watching blood shed and scary thrillers is absolutely minimal or even none. I can't bear to watch the level of violence that is depicted these days in movies. A nice comedy film or a romantic story or a feel good theme are the kinds of movies and shows that I can take.

Why don't I like horror and violence flicks? The answer is simple, they are not just scary, but also bring about loads of negativity. Aren't we scared about enough elements in life already to not get sucked into watching something that makes your nerves creepy. Despite the censorship in these kinds of films, there is still a lot that can be left to the imagination. Is this form of entertainment educative or productive to our minds?

A friend of mine who loves watching late night horror shows on TV and such movies told me that watching such cutting edge thrillers make her adrenaline pumping faster and keeps her going. The same friend thinks differently now that she has a young child in her house and says that it is detrimental for her kid to watch such things and become fearful of evil things etc.

Movies like Excorcist and the like are truly bone chilling and blood curling, but don't carry a theme or a positive message. Sometimes, a good thriller movie comes along, but that too, depends upon the health condition and age of the person watching it. A person who is prone to have hypertension or gets agitated easily would still find it unwise to spend time watching such elements.

As for me, just the scary factor and the hype associated with these shows and movies is enough to keep me away from them.

So, are you someone who has it in you to watch the horror genre or do you think otherwise.

What does it take to look like her?

Courtesy pics: india glitz and google images


I know that it has been exactly a month since my last post, it has been work and other stuff in life that has kept me away from blogging more frequently (excuses....), but nevertheless, the point is this blog isn't dead yet. So, without further ado-

Was recently browsing some pictures from an event "Cinema Today 2009" hosted for film technicians in Chennai and came across the picture of Suhasini Manirathnam, comperer of the evening. Everytime, I look at this woman, there is something that makes me pause and look at her picture again.

As an actress, Suhasini has not made a big impression to me, but, as a woman who carries herself with such pomp and elegance, she has my complete admiration. Not sure if it is the flowing long hair or the graceful manner in which she fits into either a saree or a modern outfit, but she has the right mix of what it takes to be a head turner. She wouldn't fall into the category of "beautiful", but, it does take a certain level of confidence to present yourself at an event or a function in attire that not only looks ordinary and simple, but somehow appears classy because she has worn it. Another thing, that adds to her persona is her trim/slim figure, I am sure she works out meticulously to keep herself toned. Being in a genre of actresses that are known to get obese with age, it does look refreshing to see someone maintain their body well. Not only does it compliment one's beauty, but certainly takes off 10 years from her age.

I often wonder is this how a woman ages gracefully, of course she is not that old to be categorized as "aged", but, a little something can be adopted from this lady on how we women need to take care of ourselves and do the right things-eating healthy (I hope my hubby doesn't read this) and working out regularly (I hope hubby doesn't read this either. Not just for the man in our lives, but we owe it to ourselves as women to maintain our appearance. While beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and physical appearance is not the measure of a woman's true beauty, it still doesn't hurt us to preserve what God has bestowed upon each one of us.

Until the next post.......

My Way or the Highway Attitude

Courtesy: Google Image

The first time I heard this phrase was when an uncle of mine remarked during one of my heated argumentative sessions at home. As is customary of me to go about defending how and why I want things done the way I've planned or forseen them to happen, his comment made me sit up straight and think. This happened a few years ago. Nothing has changed in the way I do or see things since then. In fact, my attitude towards getting things done in my personal life exactly as how I envision them has only gotten worse.

An English idioms book defines the my-way or highway attitude as "If people don't do what you say, they will have to quit or leave the project, etc." Another phrase book, says this attitude is a trite expression that sums up dictatorial leadership style that is arrogance itself.

Growing up as an only child, this attitude of mine only flourished more and as years went by my ability to be flexible, adaptive and tolerant gradually declined. Of course, I would have to force my self to listen to another person's point of view, but, more often than not, it was something that I could never implement or take action upon. Strangely, this attitude is more dominant at a personal level rather than showing up at a professional front.

I am really curious as to how the rest of the world operates, do people take life as it comes or do they always have a plan and try their best to follow it. What happens if things don't go as per their plans, do they simply accept it and move on or do they fret about it and try their best to change the outcome?

It will be interesting to hear some other opinions....

The Proverbial Male Child

At the beginning of this year, San Jose Mercury news had an interesting article that caught my eye. The article talked about how Asian immigrants in California are using medical technology to the fullest extent possible to satisfy an age old desire of having a male offspring instead of a female offspring.

As we know from movies like Karuthamma and in parts of rural South India, especially villages in and around Theni etc. there is still the practise of killing a female newborn or even a woman aborting her fetus if she has already had several female offsprings etc. But, it is indeed surprising to know that Asian immigrants (includes Chinese and Indian) here in California are stretching medical technology to new boundaries that provide prospective parents with the promise of a son. Of course, female infanticide almost never happens here, but according to the article there are some couples who have manipulated the natural odds of having a son or a daughter.

Dr. Jeffrey Steinberg, medical director of the Fertility Institutes of Los Angeles who was interviewed for the article, says that his office uses what is known as PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis) a technique where fertilized embryos whose sex is identified after a few cell divisions is then implanted. He claims that a majority of his clients are ethnic couples of the Chinese and Indian community who are willing to pay upto $20,000 for every attempt to have a boy.

Click graph to see enlarged image

Source: Jason Abrevaya, University of Texas, California Dept. of Public Health

The article then delvs into how having a son has become such an important aspect for Asian immigrants. Apparently, the preference for a male offspring in China goes back to some 2,000 years ago with economic and social roots, tradition etc. Amongst Indians, there is a strong belief that only a son can perform a father's last rites and is expected to financially and physically support his parents in their old age (though that is rapidly changing now in India, but still is an unspoken expectation). Also, some South Asian couples opened up saying that having a boy is a "status symbol" for several Indian women, even if they lived in the US, as they felt more acceptance with their in-laws. And, this thinking has now extended to many Asian immigrants even in the US. The worry is that as PGD becomes more affordable, more people are going to use it to ensure that they have a son. An analysis done by a University of Texas economist estimates that between 1991 and 2004 there were 2,000 "missing girl babies" among Chinese and Indian couples living in US- girls never born because their parents chose to have sons instead.

Can you imagine how much of a problem that would pose in the future?

A survey done indicated that most Asians weren't too concerned about the first child, but the bias towards a son became more pronounced for a second baby, especially if they knew it was a girl.

But, as long as there are immigrant couples who have set thoughts stuck in their heads based on cultural factors, there is going to be a huge business opportunity for doctors like Steinberg and others who have understood this and are willing to provide the services to bring more male babies into this world.

Happy Friday...

I am Back!

Courtesy: Google Image

After a long hiatus, I finally dragged myself to let my blog pals know that I am back. Thank you to all the visitors who have been patiently visiting this blog and asking if all is well at my end. Yes, all is well- Call it a writer's block or taking an extended break, but I am returning to post. Hopefully, the new year has settled in and 2009 is here to bring some life changes.

Posting will resume shortly.......

Happy Holidays

Pic: Courtesy of Google Image


I feel like I am out of school, yes, in some ways it is true. Our office closed for the holidays on Dec. 19th and we don't head back to work until Jan. 5th. Spent the last week organizing an XMas party, exchanged gifts and cookies and wrapped up stuff at work.

It is definitely a nice feeling to be at home- sleeping in without any alarm to wake up to, taking the day at leisure, watching Sun Tv, cooking and eating home made hot food, the afternoon naps etc. Guess, it does make a nice change in routine to be at home. Just realizing that there are so many home projects to do- cleaning out the closets, getting rid of old stuff, emptying out the pantry, reading old journals and going through albums from the past, there is enough to do at home to keep one occupied.

And, am I not glad to be away from the snow storms and blizzards of the mid-west and north east. I wish I could be in Hawaii, ideally, but, given where I am I should not complain too much. I wish a flight to Chennai could be less than 8 hours and cheap, so that a quick trip to enjoy the December/markazhi kutcheri/concert season can be made, but, those are all just wish lists for the time being.

Wishing all bloggers a great holiday season, have a safe journey if you are flying or a bash with your family and friends or simply soak in the festive lights and spirit of the holiday season at your home.

Seasons Greetings!

An Award to make your day

Krishnan of Musings and Miscellany has graciously bestowed the Proximity award to me. This award couldn't have arrived at a better time to boost my spirits and motivate me to write more regularly. At a time, when you are trying to get out of blogger lethargy and get out of being caught up in the mundane routines of work and home life, an award like this, definitely makes you sit up and think about living upto to it.

What is this Proximity award about?
"This award is given to a blog that invests and believes in PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

So, without further ado, here are my 8 selections to whom I would like to pass on this award, you have all indeed been truly proximate through your writings, be it a cooking recipe or a family blog or a space where you write about your ideas and thoughts .

1. Sachita
2. Sundar
3. Laksh
4. Cham
5. Sasa
6. Priya from Canada
7. A-kay
8. Aparna


Enjoy the rest of the week!

Break in Service and Other Things

It's official that I've been out of commission for a while now, didn't have much enthu to write about stuff nor had the motivation to read all my fellow bloggers posts, though, I've occasionally glimpsed through some of them. I guess blogger lethargy sweeps in once in a while and am hopefully attempting to break the spell and start writing again.

A lot has happened in the past few days and we aren't even done with the first half of December yet and I am already wishing for this year to end.

The Mumbai attacks have indeed caused immeasurable losses, pain and more than any other emotion, anger to a lot of Indians world wide. While, almost every blogger has expressed their hurt and concern over the brutality, I have no additional thoughts to chip in. A Caucasian colleague of mine who read every Indian and Pakistani paper there was to read online on the attacks, sent me this one liner titled humor out of tragedy- "Forgiving the Terrorists is GOD's responsibility. But fixing their appointment with God is entirely OUR responsibility."

A year that is steadily seeing the US unemployment rise at a frenzy that only seems to make layoffs the norm in several work places. Come every Thursday and Friday, irrespective of whether the company's earnings report comes out or not, there appears to be announcements of job cuts. With this rapid cut in our workforce, even top economic analysts are unable to predict when the job market will hit the bottom. And, the bad news doesn't stop with this intensifying recession that is still seen going well into the first half of 2009 and when a recovery comes, if it does, will it bring more jobs or sustain an already suffering middle class. Will Obama's stimulus package bring in some sort of relief? Will the US auto industry ever be able to rise from its worst ever? Will national security and terrorism continue to be a significant factor on the new president elect's agenda? Lastly, will most employers be able to find some budget saving relief by mandating forced shutdown for atleast 2 weeks for their staff?

Well, with so much clout hanging over our heads, I sure don't see us heading into a cheerful holiday season. This year's Xmas and New Year are going to be low key gatherings for many families where gifts are probably not going to be exchanged.

Not to end on a negative tone, but, atleast let's try and think of the good things and blessings that life has bestowed upon each and every one of us and use that as a tonic to get us through some tough times.

Getting Caught Up and Happy Thanksgiving

I can't believe its been more than 10 days since my last post and I have to admit that I've not caught up with all my other blog readings, either. It has been a full blown cold/flu season for me. I took my flu shot as soon as they offered it at work, thinking that I will be healthy through the cold season this year, but alas, how mistaken could I have been- For I have been falling sick since the week after. A combination of nasal allergies that turned out to be a cold and a horrible sore throat to the point of losing my voice to a croak, it has been a miserable time the past few weeks. The Tylenol Colds, warm water gargling and nasal puffs can take you only so far. But, I am thankful for feeling better this week, though haven't got rid of the symptoms completely.

Only now, do I realise how much important it is to be hale and healthy. A healthy body does wonders to maintain a normal temperament and keeps life going smoothly. Another awakening moment came when I felt that I could not afford to get sick here in US, with being allowed to take only so many sick days off at work and having to manage at the homefront too. In India, falling sick was not a big deal at all, cutting classes at college and staying home to be fussed by mom's cooking and dad's care and a visit to the family doctor nearby who loaded me with antibiotics and injection, I would feel better in 4 days and not fall sick for a while, unless I did something out of the ordinary like getting drenched in the rain and eating ice cream etc. Here, I take extra care to dress warm, cover myself with layers from head to toe when I go out and also when I am at home, inspite of which the cold bug gets to me. And I think it really is attached to me, for it lingers for a while and even when it feels like its gone, it is only coming back to me.

Anyways, enough already about my health, but, with thanksgiving break coming up, it is a good time to relax, enjoy the break, eat pumpkin pies, squash, cranberries, stuffing and mashed poatoes with gravy (yes, that is going to be my vegetarian thanksgiving meal tomorrow, if I feel much better). And of course, shop till you drop down on Black Friday to make the most out of the top deals.

Happy Thanksgiving and more blogging to follow next week.

Bicultural Children- India and California

Video: Courtesy of San Jose Mercury News


Earlier this month, San Jose Mercury News had an article exclusively based on the kids who had returned from the Bay Area to Bangalore, India. Reading the article, gave me a better insight into the lives of children who are now, more than ever, exposed to and are living in two different cultures.

Global careers and economic opportunities lure several NRI folks back to India to settle down and as a result the children are also forced to tug along to a place that seems as foreign as it was to their parents when they first arrived in this country as graduate school students. The number of Indians going back, especially from Bay Area, given its Indian population is still on the rise with every passing year. As a result of this, several young Silicon valley children are trying to adjust themselves to the school environment, community and plain simple, just living in India.

Statistics show that per the National Association of Software Service Companies, atleast 22,000 NRI's have returned to India and more than half of it is from Bay area. Companies like Cisco, Hewlett-Packard, Intel and Oracle are some of the major corporations that the parents are employed in and when they go back to posh, expat style, gated-community living in Bangalore where their neighbours are colleagues and friends from US, life is much more secure. Little do they realize, that just outside the walls of those posh residences, there exists profound poverty, which is the first glimpse of reality that their US returned children get to see.

While, attending International Schools may not be that much of a shift in cultures, nevertheless, the differences are still striking. The article has excerpts from what a few of the kids who were unhappy with their Indian classroom experiences said-

1. Students at school must stand up any time an adult enters the classroom
2. Students are required to address instructors as "Sir" or "Miss" and of course wear uniforms, somtimes with ties.
3. More than that, they have to wear a name tag/badge. One of the girls asks,"How many California schools make you wear a dog tag?"
4. Have to endure teasing from Indian classmates about their American accent.
5. Girls are not allowed to wear make up to school or even let their hair down, which is very much an active ingredient of teen school life in US
6. Last, but the most important difference is that the kids find that their teachers don't encourage creativity in the schools. Neither do the teachers encourage asking questions (in fact, many times the teacher tells you to shut up and listen to her talking), sometimes the teacher's response is "You don't need to know that." In the US, school and education is more about helping you grow as an individual and being creative and applying your learnings to real life examples.

A few other students who had adapted more easily to their new surroundings and environment had the following to say-

1. Coming to India breaks your mental block of America being everything in the world to you.
2. There is a lot more to the Indian community and you experience something very different and enriching.
3. Mingling with other religious students and learning about India's ways makes us more flexible with adjusting our ways and hence we have no fear of the unknown.
4. While there are no high school proms and dating activities, we do lot of things within our community as a group of friends.
5. Life here is much more slower and relaxing than being in US.
6. We have different people to cater to our needs, like a driver to take us out, a maid to clean and a cook for our meals and of course access to cousins and grandparents is always there.

While the census is that some kids are more adaptable than others, it is still a safe haven of living in a posh neighbourhood inside a world that is cut off from the poverty and other aspects of day to day Indian living, though a drive in the car and while waiting at the signal, you'll never miss begging children rapping on your air conditioned glass windows.

But, some of these kids still keep in touch with their Bay area friends, especially the ones who miss their silicon valley lives the most. They are up at night chatting with their friends who live here and look forward to the summer when they can be back in the Bay Area to attend summer school and do other activities that aren't there in India. And of course, like most other expat kids, they will be back in the US for their undergraduate education.

While, both returning parents and children come to terms with living in a global culture, sometimes, it just feels down right confusing for the kids, while the parents keep telling them that your old silicon valley life has not gone away, you've just grown an extra one and will go back to your old one once you are in college.

Link to the original article: http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_10898080?IADID=Search-www.mercurynews.com-www.mercurynews.com

Happy Children's Day and Thank God its Friday!

Prop 8 in California: YES or NO

Pictures: Courtesy of Google Images














If you live in the Bay Area and tune into your radio while driving your car or listen to the local news or see slogans propped outside homes, the term Prop 8 is perhaps the most spoken word around here. While, the Yes and No for support or not in favor of Prop 8 keeps shifting and to me is down right confusing, I thought that writing a post about it might help get some clarity.

Proposition 8 is one of the electoral ballot propositions that was entirely devoted to the State of California. The ballot title of Prop 8 was "Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry". Before, it was passed, same-sex marriage was a constitutionally protected right in California. In other words, Prop 8 would amend the state of California to restrict the definition of marriage to a union between a man and a woman.

VOTING YES ON PROP 8 means- you will define MARRIAGE in California to mean only the union between one man and one woman.

VOTING NO ON PROP 8 means- you will define MARRIAGE in California to mean the union between any two people regardless of gender, which includes same-sex couples.
(No change to the original state constitution right).

The electoral campaigns both For and Against Prop 8 raised several millions of dollars. While Democrats are the liberals who would argue that treating one group of people differently is unfair and wrong, conservative republicans might dig into their stance that failure to change the constitution for heteresexual marriage would require changing school curriculum etc. Of course, just like Obama, many liberals may not be that clear in their stance or vote Yes for Prop 8.

Nevertheless, just thinking about this topic that has been debated at all levels at nauseum, it makes one ponder about what their core beliefs, values etc. are. For the immigrant folks like me, where we hail from a culture that still has a higher percent of arranged marriages happening, it is indeed a shift in paradigm to think about same-sex couples getting married.

While, I've often felt that it is okay to accept a person if he/she is attracted to the same sex and try not to treat them differently, and also come to terms with them living together as a couple, calling their union as a Marriage is what bothers me somehow. Can't it just be named as a Union or something along those lines, instead of calling it Marriage. Because, the union between a man and a woman is a marriage, since they can give birth to kids etc. Yes, agreed that two women living as a couple can adopt a child, but, how would that child be raised. Who would it look up to as Mother and Father roles, would its thinking get impaired are all questions that I ponder, but have no answers to.

Anyways, this is a topic that is indeed controversial at its core and is still debated about widely here in Bay Area and had to make a post about this one.

Happy Monday!

Obama: A Force to Reckon With

Pictures: Courtesy of Yahoo Photos















November 4th, 2008 was election day in America, a day that is awaited by millions across the country and world, in anticipation and eagerness. The day did not disappoint America, for indeed, history has been made with the election of Barack Obama as the 44th president and the first ever African American president of the United States. The victory was a landslide with Obama claiming 349 of the electoral votes (required 270) defeating his opponent John McCain who got 142 electoral votes, though the popularity votes were close enough.

Chicago celebrated, New York and California rejoiced as did Kenya and other nations across the worlds who watched America elevate its stance in the international arena by proving that democracy is the still the strongest power in today's global world.

As a permanent resident in this country, who has another couple of years towards getting citizenship, I couldn't vote in this historic election. But, as an immigrant and just like any other minority group, the moment of seeing Obama deliver his victory speech, makes me emotional. I saw thousands of African American people, both men and women, crying, for many would not have dreamt that they could be alive to see the day when a black man would get elected to the white house in this country, indeed, CHANGE is here, big time. It gives hope for millions of colored people, be it from an Asian, Hispanic, Latino or any other community the hope to dream big and the belief that anything is possible in this land of opportunities.

Now, that I've raved about how one can hope in this country etc. I want to delve more into how Obama made this happen. Just being an African American senator from Illinois, didn't give Obama an edge over the others, but he had to work ten times harder than your average politician over the years to get to this point. And, of course, he has all the right elements in perfect combination to make him who he is.

A few reasons why I think Obama won, based on my readings, observations and of course getting the facts right from the internet and news-

1. A member of the democratic minority, representing a swath of Chicago's south side, he had done what he could so as one of the most liberal senators in a Republican goverment and was ready for a change.
2. His community organizer background gave him the ablity to appeal to people, listen to their concerns and deliver speeches that enthralled his audience.
3. Obama has the right educational background, a law degree from Harvard and the mantle of first black president of the Harvard Law Review.
4. His personality that has been subjected to close scrutiny throughout this race, depicting him as a cool headed, intelligent politician. His rare talent is to mask his hard inner core and unyielding ambition to make something extraordinatry of himself and promote his ideals.
5. Lastly, his campaign, I've heard is run so methodically and strategically that the organization functioned like clock-work and paved the way for his victory. Obama's steady, corporate campaign management is another depiction of how timing, planning and action are all crucial to attaining a high goal, such as this.

At his victory speech in Chicago's Grant Park in front of more than 100,000 people, Obama after thanking his supporters (he didn't mention Hillary and Bill Clinton, was a bit surprised at this and wondered if the omission was intentional or otherwise)went on to say how the challenges of tomorrow, one of them being the worst financial crisis of the century and the other being planet in peril will be faced.

While, change comes with this election, let us wait and watch to see what Obama does in his first term after taking oath into the Oval office in January. But, for now, Obama's success story is that of a young man, whose search for the identity of his own roots and his quest for change makes him a unique and a prominent president in the global arena.