What does it take to look like her?

Courtesy pics: india glitz and google images


I know that it has been exactly a month since my last post, it has been work and other stuff in life that has kept me away from blogging more frequently (excuses....), but nevertheless, the point is this blog isn't dead yet. So, without further ado-

Was recently browsing some pictures from an event "Cinema Today 2009" hosted for film technicians in Chennai and came across the picture of Suhasini Manirathnam, comperer of the evening. Everytime, I look at this woman, there is something that makes me pause and look at her picture again.

As an actress, Suhasini has not made a big impression to me, but, as a woman who carries herself with such pomp and elegance, she has my complete admiration. Not sure if it is the flowing long hair or the graceful manner in which she fits into either a saree or a modern outfit, but she has the right mix of what it takes to be a head turner. She wouldn't fall into the category of "beautiful", but, it does take a certain level of confidence to present yourself at an event or a function in attire that not only looks ordinary and simple, but somehow appears classy because she has worn it. Another thing, that adds to her persona is her trim/slim figure, I am sure she works out meticulously to keep herself toned. Being in a genre of actresses that are known to get obese with age, it does look refreshing to see someone maintain their body well. Not only does it compliment one's beauty, but certainly takes off 10 years from her age.

I often wonder is this how a woman ages gracefully, of course she is not that old to be categorized as "aged", but, a little something can be adopted from this lady on how we women need to take care of ourselves and do the right things-eating healthy (I hope my hubby doesn't read this) and working out regularly (I hope hubby doesn't read this either. Not just for the man in our lives, but we owe it to ourselves as women to maintain our appearance. While beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and physical appearance is not the measure of a woman's true beauty, it still doesn't hurt us to preserve what God has bestowed upon each one of us.

Until the next post.......

My Way or the Highway Attitude

Courtesy: Google Image

The first time I heard this phrase was when an uncle of mine remarked during one of my heated argumentative sessions at home. As is customary of me to go about defending how and why I want things done the way I've planned or forseen them to happen, his comment made me sit up straight and think. This happened a few years ago. Nothing has changed in the way I do or see things since then. In fact, my attitude towards getting things done in my personal life exactly as how I envision them has only gotten worse.

An English idioms book defines the my-way or highway attitude as "If people don't do what you say, they will have to quit or leave the project, etc." Another phrase book, says this attitude is a trite expression that sums up dictatorial leadership style that is arrogance itself.

Growing up as an only child, this attitude of mine only flourished more and as years went by my ability to be flexible, adaptive and tolerant gradually declined. Of course, I would have to force my self to listen to another person's point of view, but, more often than not, it was something that I could never implement or take action upon. Strangely, this attitude is more dominant at a personal level rather than showing up at a professional front.

I am really curious as to how the rest of the world operates, do people take life as it comes or do they always have a plan and try their best to follow it. What happens if things don't go as per their plans, do they simply accept it and move on or do they fret about it and try their best to change the outcome?

It will be interesting to hear some other opinions....

The Proverbial Male Child

At the beginning of this year, San Jose Mercury news had an interesting article that caught my eye. The article talked about how Asian immigrants in California are using medical technology to the fullest extent possible to satisfy an age old desire of having a male offspring instead of a female offspring.

As we know from movies like Karuthamma and in parts of rural South India, especially villages in and around Theni etc. there is still the practise of killing a female newborn or even a woman aborting her fetus if she has already had several female offsprings etc. But, it is indeed surprising to know that Asian immigrants (includes Chinese and Indian) here in California are stretching medical technology to new boundaries that provide prospective parents with the promise of a son. Of course, female infanticide almost never happens here, but according to the article there are some couples who have manipulated the natural odds of having a son or a daughter.

Dr. Jeffrey Steinberg, medical director of the Fertility Institutes of Los Angeles who was interviewed for the article, says that his office uses what is known as PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis) a technique where fertilized embryos whose sex is identified after a few cell divisions is then implanted. He claims that a majority of his clients are ethnic couples of the Chinese and Indian community who are willing to pay upto $20,000 for every attempt to have a boy.

Click graph to see enlarged image

Source: Jason Abrevaya, University of Texas, California Dept. of Public Health

The article then delvs into how having a son has become such an important aspect for Asian immigrants. Apparently, the preference for a male offspring in China goes back to some 2,000 years ago with economic and social roots, tradition etc. Amongst Indians, there is a strong belief that only a son can perform a father's last rites and is expected to financially and physically support his parents in their old age (though that is rapidly changing now in India, but still is an unspoken expectation). Also, some South Asian couples opened up saying that having a boy is a "status symbol" for several Indian women, even if they lived in the US, as they felt more acceptance with their in-laws. And, this thinking has now extended to many Asian immigrants even in the US. The worry is that as PGD becomes more affordable, more people are going to use it to ensure that they have a son. An analysis done by a University of Texas economist estimates that between 1991 and 2004 there were 2,000 "missing girl babies" among Chinese and Indian couples living in US- girls never born because their parents chose to have sons instead.

Can you imagine how much of a problem that would pose in the future?

A survey done indicated that most Asians weren't too concerned about the first child, but the bias towards a son became more pronounced for a second baby, especially if they knew it was a girl.

But, as long as there are immigrant couples who have set thoughts stuck in their heads based on cultural factors, there is going to be a huge business opportunity for doctors like Steinberg and others who have understood this and are willing to provide the services to bring more male babies into this world.

Happy Friday...

I am Back!

Courtesy: Google Image

After a long hiatus, I finally dragged myself to let my blog pals know that I am back. Thank you to all the visitors who have been patiently visiting this blog and asking if all is well at my end. Yes, all is well- Call it a writer's block or taking an extended break, but I am returning to post. Hopefully, the new year has settled in and 2009 is here to bring some life changes.

Posting will resume shortly.......

Happy Holidays

Pic: Courtesy of Google Image


I feel like I am out of school, yes, in some ways it is true. Our office closed for the holidays on Dec. 19th and we don't head back to work until Jan. 5th. Spent the last week organizing an XMas party, exchanged gifts and cookies and wrapped up stuff at work.

It is definitely a nice feeling to be at home- sleeping in without any alarm to wake up to, taking the day at leisure, watching Sun Tv, cooking and eating home made hot food, the afternoon naps etc. Guess, it does make a nice change in routine to be at home. Just realizing that there are so many home projects to do- cleaning out the closets, getting rid of old stuff, emptying out the pantry, reading old journals and going through albums from the past, there is enough to do at home to keep one occupied.

And, am I not glad to be away from the snow storms and blizzards of the mid-west and north east. I wish I could be in Hawaii, ideally, but, given where I am I should not complain too much. I wish a flight to Chennai could be less than 8 hours and cheap, so that a quick trip to enjoy the December/markazhi kutcheri/concert season can be made, but, those are all just wish lists for the time being.

Wishing all bloggers a great holiday season, have a safe journey if you are flying or a bash with your family and friends or simply soak in the festive lights and spirit of the holiday season at your home.

Seasons Greetings!

An Award to make your day

Krishnan of Musings and Miscellany has graciously bestowed the Proximity award to me. This award couldn't have arrived at a better time to boost my spirits and motivate me to write more regularly. At a time, when you are trying to get out of blogger lethargy and get out of being caught up in the mundane routines of work and home life, an award like this, definitely makes you sit up and think about living upto to it.

What is this Proximity award about?
"This award is given to a blog that invests and believes in PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

So, without further ado, here are my 8 selections to whom I would like to pass on this award, you have all indeed been truly proximate through your writings, be it a cooking recipe or a family blog or a space where you write about your ideas and thoughts .

1. Sachita
2. Sundar
3. Laksh
4. Cham
5. Sasa
6. Priya from Canada
7. A-kay
8. Aparna


Enjoy the rest of the week!

Break in Service and Other Things

It's official that I've been out of commission for a while now, didn't have much enthu to write about stuff nor had the motivation to read all my fellow bloggers posts, though, I've occasionally glimpsed through some of them. I guess blogger lethargy sweeps in once in a while and am hopefully attempting to break the spell and start writing again.

A lot has happened in the past few days and we aren't even done with the first half of December yet and I am already wishing for this year to end.

The Mumbai attacks have indeed caused immeasurable losses, pain and more than any other emotion, anger to a lot of Indians world wide. While, almost every blogger has expressed their hurt and concern over the brutality, I have no additional thoughts to chip in. A Caucasian colleague of mine who read every Indian and Pakistani paper there was to read online on the attacks, sent me this one liner titled humor out of tragedy- "Forgiving the Terrorists is GOD's responsibility. But fixing their appointment with God is entirely OUR responsibility."

A year that is steadily seeing the US unemployment rise at a frenzy that only seems to make layoffs the norm in several work places. Come every Thursday and Friday, irrespective of whether the company's earnings report comes out or not, there appears to be announcements of job cuts. With this rapid cut in our workforce, even top economic analysts are unable to predict when the job market will hit the bottom. And, the bad news doesn't stop with this intensifying recession that is still seen going well into the first half of 2009 and when a recovery comes, if it does, will it bring more jobs or sustain an already suffering middle class. Will Obama's stimulus package bring in some sort of relief? Will the US auto industry ever be able to rise from its worst ever? Will national security and terrorism continue to be a significant factor on the new president elect's agenda? Lastly, will most employers be able to find some budget saving relief by mandating forced shutdown for atleast 2 weeks for their staff?

Well, with so much clout hanging over our heads, I sure don't see us heading into a cheerful holiday season. This year's Xmas and New Year are going to be low key gatherings for many families where gifts are probably not going to be exchanged.

Not to end on a negative tone, but, atleast let's try and think of the good things and blessings that life has bestowed upon each and every one of us and use that as a tonic to get us through some tough times.

Getting Caught Up and Happy Thanksgiving

I can't believe its been more than 10 days since my last post and I have to admit that I've not caught up with all my other blog readings, either. It has been a full blown cold/flu season for me. I took my flu shot as soon as they offered it at work, thinking that I will be healthy through the cold season this year, but alas, how mistaken could I have been- For I have been falling sick since the week after. A combination of nasal allergies that turned out to be a cold and a horrible sore throat to the point of losing my voice to a croak, it has been a miserable time the past few weeks. The Tylenol Colds, warm water gargling and nasal puffs can take you only so far. But, I am thankful for feeling better this week, though haven't got rid of the symptoms completely.

Only now, do I realise how much important it is to be hale and healthy. A healthy body does wonders to maintain a normal temperament and keeps life going smoothly. Another awakening moment came when I felt that I could not afford to get sick here in US, with being allowed to take only so many sick days off at work and having to manage at the homefront too. In India, falling sick was not a big deal at all, cutting classes at college and staying home to be fussed by mom's cooking and dad's care and a visit to the family doctor nearby who loaded me with antibiotics and injection, I would feel better in 4 days and not fall sick for a while, unless I did something out of the ordinary like getting drenched in the rain and eating ice cream etc. Here, I take extra care to dress warm, cover myself with layers from head to toe when I go out and also when I am at home, inspite of which the cold bug gets to me. And I think it really is attached to me, for it lingers for a while and even when it feels like its gone, it is only coming back to me.

Anyways, enough already about my health, but, with thanksgiving break coming up, it is a good time to relax, enjoy the break, eat pumpkin pies, squash, cranberries, stuffing and mashed poatoes with gravy (yes, that is going to be my vegetarian thanksgiving meal tomorrow, if I feel much better). And of course, shop till you drop down on Black Friday to make the most out of the top deals.

Happy Thanksgiving and more blogging to follow next week.

Bicultural Children- India and California

Video: Courtesy of San Jose Mercury News


Earlier this month, San Jose Mercury News had an article exclusively based on the kids who had returned from the Bay Area to Bangalore, India. Reading the article, gave me a better insight into the lives of children who are now, more than ever, exposed to and are living in two different cultures.

Global careers and economic opportunities lure several NRI folks back to India to settle down and as a result the children are also forced to tug along to a place that seems as foreign as it was to their parents when they first arrived in this country as graduate school students. The number of Indians going back, especially from Bay Area, given its Indian population is still on the rise with every passing year. As a result of this, several young Silicon valley children are trying to adjust themselves to the school environment, community and plain simple, just living in India.

Statistics show that per the National Association of Software Service Companies, atleast 22,000 NRI's have returned to India and more than half of it is from Bay area. Companies like Cisco, Hewlett-Packard, Intel and Oracle are some of the major corporations that the parents are employed in and when they go back to posh, expat style, gated-community living in Bangalore where their neighbours are colleagues and friends from US, life is much more secure. Little do they realize, that just outside the walls of those posh residences, there exists profound poverty, which is the first glimpse of reality that their US returned children get to see.

While, attending International Schools may not be that much of a shift in cultures, nevertheless, the differences are still striking. The article has excerpts from what a few of the kids who were unhappy with their Indian classroom experiences said-

1. Students at school must stand up any time an adult enters the classroom
2. Students are required to address instructors as "Sir" or "Miss" and of course wear uniforms, somtimes with ties.
3. More than that, they have to wear a name tag/badge. One of the girls asks,"How many California schools make you wear a dog tag?"
4. Have to endure teasing from Indian classmates about their American accent.
5. Girls are not allowed to wear make up to school or even let their hair down, which is very much an active ingredient of teen school life in US
6. Last, but the most important difference is that the kids find that their teachers don't encourage creativity in the schools. Neither do the teachers encourage asking questions (in fact, many times the teacher tells you to shut up and listen to her talking), sometimes the teacher's response is "You don't need to know that." In the US, school and education is more about helping you grow as an individual and being creative and applying your learnings to real life examples.

A few other students who had adapted more easily to their new surroundings and environment had the following to say-

1. Coming to India breaks your mental block of America being everything in the world to you.
2. There is a lot more to the Indian community and you experience something very different and enriching.
3. Mingling with other religious students and learning about India's ways makes us more flexible with adjusting our ways and hence we have no fear of the unknown.
4. While there are no high school proms and dating activities, we do lot of things within our community as a group of friends.
5. Life here is much more slower and relaxing than being in US.
6. We have different people to cater to our needs, like a driver to take us out, a maid to clean and a cook for our meals and of course access to cousins and grandparents is always there.

While the census is that some kids are more adaptable than others, it is still a safe haven of living in a posh neighbourhood inside a world that is cut off from the poverty and other aspects of day to day Indian living, though a drive in the car and while waiting at the signal, you'll never miss begging children rapping on your air conditioned glass windows.

But, some of these kids still keep in touch with their Bay area friends, especially the ones who miss their silicon valley lives the most. They are up at night chatting with their friends who live here and look forward to the summer when they can be back in the Bay Area to attend summer school and do other activities that aren't there in India. And of course, like most other expat kids, they will be back in the US for their undergraduate education.

While, both returning parents and children come to terms with living in a global culture, sometimes, it just feels down right confusing for the kids, while the parents keep telling them that your old silicon valley life has not gone away, you've just grown an extra one and will go back to your old one once you are in college.

Link to the original article: http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_10898080?IADID=Search-www.mercurynews.com-www.mercurynews.com

Happy Children's Day and Thank God its Friday!

Prop 8 in California: YES or NO

Pictures: Courtesy of Google Images














If you live in the Bay Area and tune into your radio while driving your car or listen to the local news or see slogans propped outside homes, the term Prop 8 is perhaps the most spoken word around here. While, the Yes and No for support or not in favor of Prop 8 keeps shifting and to me is down right confusing, I thought that writing a post about it might help get some clarity.

Proposition 8 is one of the electoral ballot propositions that was entirely devoted to the State of California. The ballot title of Prop 8 was "Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry". Before, it was passed, same-sex marriage was a constitutionally protected right in California. In other words, Prop 8 would amend the state of California to restrict the definition of marriage to a union between a man and a woman.

VOTING YES ON PROP 8 means- you will define MARRIAGE in California to mean only the union between one man and one woman.

VOTING NO ON PROP 8 means- you will define MARRIAGE in California to mean the union between any two people regardless of gender, which includes same-sex couples.
(No change to the original state constitution right).

The electoral campaigns both For and Against Prop 8 raised several millions of dollars. While Democrats are the liberals who would argue that treating one group of people differently is unfair and wrong, conservative republicans might dig into their stance that failure to change the constitution for heteresexual marriage would require changing school curriculum etc. Of course, just like Obama, many liberals may not be that clear in their stance or vote Yes for Prop 8.

Nevertheless, just thinking about this topic that has been debated at all levels at nauseum, it makes one ponder about what their core beliefs, values etc. are. For the immigrant folks like me, where we hail from a culture that still has a higher percent of arranged marriages happening, it is indeed a shift in paradigm to think about same-sex couples getting married.

While, I've often felt that it is okay to accept a person if he/she is attracted to the same sex and try not to treat them differently, and also come to terms with them living together as a couple, calling their union as a Marriage is what bothers me somehow. Can't it just be named as a Union or something along those lines, instead of calling it Marriage. Because, the union between a man and a woman is a marriage, since they can give birth to kids etc. Yes, agreed that two women living as a couple can adopt a child, but, how would that child be raised. Who would it look up to as Mother and Father roles, would its thinking get impaired are all questions that I ponder, but have no answers to.

Anyways, this is a topic that is indeed controversial at its core and is still debated about widely here in Bay Area and had to make a post about this one.

Happy Monday!

Obama: A Force to Reckon With

Pictures: Courtesy of Yahoo Photos















November 4th, 2008 was election day in America, a day that is awaited by millions across the country and world, in anticipation and eagerness. The day did not disappoint America, for indeed, history has been made with the election of Barack Obama as the 44th president and the first ever African American president of the United States. The victory was a landslide with Obama claiming 349 of the electoral votes (required 270) defeating his opponent John McCain who got 142 electoral votes, though the popularity votes were close enough.

Chicago celebrated, New York and California rejoiced as did Kenya and other nations across the worlds who watched America elevate its stance in the international arena by proving that democracy is the still the strongest power in today's global world.

As a permanent resident in this country, who has another couple of years towards getting citizenship, I couldn't vote in this historic election. But, as an immigrant and just like any other minority group, the moment of seeing Obama deliver his victory speech, makes me emotional. I saw thousands of African American people, both men and women, crying, for many would not have dreamt that they could be alive to see the day when a black man would get elected to the white house in this country, indeed, CHANGE is here, big time. It gives hope for millions of colored people, be it from an Asian, Hispanic, Latino or any other community the hope to dream big and the belief that anything is possible in this land of opportunities.

Now, that I've raved about how one can hope in this country etc. I want to delve more into how Obama made this happen. Just being an African American senator from Illinois, didn't give Obama an edge over the others, but he had to work ten times harder than your average politician over the years to get to this point. And, of course, he has all the right elements in perfect combination to make him who he is.

A few reasons why I think Obama won, based on my readings, observations and of course getting the facts right from the internet and news-

1. A member of the democratic minority, representing a swath of Chicago's south side, he had done what he could so as one of the most liberal senators in a Republican goverment and was ready for a change.
2. His community organizer background gave him the ablity to appeal to people, listen to their concerns and deliver speeches that enthralled his audience.
3. Obama has the right educational background, a law degree from Harvard and the mantle of first black president of the Harvard Law Review.
4. His personality that has been subjected to close scrutiny throughout this race, depicting him as a cool headed, intelligent politician. His rare talent is to mask his hard inner core and unyielding ambition to make something extraordinatry of himself and promote his ideals.
5. Lastly, his campaign, I've heard is run so methodically and strategically that the organization functioned like clock-work and paved the way for his victory. Obama's steady, corporate campaign management is another depiction of how timing, planning and action are all crucial to attaining a high goal, such as this.

At his victory speech in Chicago's Grant Park in front of more than 100,000 people, Obama after thanking his supporters (he didn't mention Hillary and Bill Clinton, was a bit surprised at this and wondered if the omission was intentional or otherwise)went on to say how the challenges of tomorrow, one of them being the worst financial crisis of the century and the other being planet in peril will be faced.

While, change comes with this election, let us wait and watch to see what Obama does in his first term after taking oath into the Oval office in January. But, for now, Obama's success story is that of a young man, whose search for the identity of his own roots and his quest for change makes him a unique and a prominent president in the global arena.

Happy Halloween

IT'S HALLOWEEN by Jack Prelutsky~

It's Halloween! It's Halloween!
The moon is full and bright
And we shall see what can't be seen
On any other night.

Skeletons and ghosts and ghouls,
Grinning goblins fighting duels,
Werewolves rising from their tombs,
Witches on their magic brooms.

In masks and gowns
we haunt the street
And knock on doors
for trick or treat.

Tonight we are
the king and queen,
For oh tonight
it's Halloween!

Its Halloween day and I have no costume to wear, simply because I didn't have the enthu to go and get one and dress up to come to work in a costume. Almost everyone at work is dressed up and I feel like a kid who is left out in a colorful fancy-dress competition. I tell myself that maybe next year, I will sum up the courage and venture out to try out some costume that will suit me. My colleagues are knocking on my door and showing off their costumes, we have a costume contest at lunch and as HR I again feel so left out and a little out of place. It is becoming harder for me to respond to their queries on Why I haven't dressed up, because it looks like it is part of my HR duties to not only coordinate the events, but also dress up and soak in the spirit of the day.

But, I did make it a point to go and decorate our front lawn a few weeks ago with some skeleton heads, cobwebs and halloween stuff (picture will follow soon) and I am fully equipped with variety candy to treat the kids when they come around for trick or treating tonight- I so look forward to that every Halloween and am hoping that there is no rain to stop the kids from coming around the neighbourhood tonight.

Happy Halloween and enjoy your weekend.

Married and Happy at 25 or 65?

One of my favorite shows on Sun Tv during festival days is to watch the "Pattimandram" which is the tamilian version of a debate with Solomon Pappaiya as the moderator. His snide remarks and sattirical humor always make watching the pattimandram more enjoyable. Usually, he starts out by giving a prelude to the topic of debate and there are 2 teams with 3 speakers who take turns and speak one after the other opposing their opponent's views and strengthening their own arguement. After everyone has spoken, the moderator finally gives his verdict on the winning side using his rationale from the debate. This year's pattimandram topic on Deepavali day was, "Does happiness in life come out of marriage when you are 25 years or does it come when you are at 65 years."

I am just trying to sum up the arguments made by the speakers and of course, add my two cents to it, too. Life at 25 is definitely lots of fun, a road to new beginnings, fulfilment of dreams and desires etc. Being engaged, falling in love and getting married (either the arranged way or other way), the first job, the first date, first anniversary, first gift, first baby, so many firsts make it all so much worth living for. The first fight with your spouse, followed by several others in due course etc. are also part of the works. Of course, making up after such tiffs and the lessons learnt about your partner are all part of the marriage game at 25. Also, life at 25 is filled with changes and rushes past by without the extra time to savor and enjoy the niceties.

Life at 65 is laid back and comes with a sense of contentment. A pension and secure savings provide the financial stability, while dependecy on a son/daughter may also rock this age. There are times when the son/daughter may not always be that patient or accomodative with your old age quirks, but, if your significant other is around, it makes living more bearable. While sparks don't fly off at a glance into each other's eyes and you don't even have to touch the other person, there is a comfortable silence and mute understanding of what your spouse is thinking at this wise old age. Listening to your wife cough through the night, may not be that pleasant and happy, but, getting up in your tottering steps to fetch her a glass of water and gently holding her hand, may bring happiness and comfort. If your grandfather is out on a hot sunny day to the near by post-office and isn't back at his usual time, the concern on your grandmother's face and the way she walks to the door and peeps out, is probably the best depiction of what love is at that age.

Finally, the verdict was given to Marriage and happiness being enjoyed the most at 65 and not at 25 years. At 25, a lot of the feelings are passionate and associated with physical needs and superficial, but, is like bright spring season, with the blossoming of flowers and color. At 65, life in a marriage is about sharing concerns of who might die first and what will happen to the other spouse and is shared from the heart and soul and is like the changing colors and falling leaves of fall season. Enjoy and savor the thrills of married life at 25, for those are probably the best times in one's life and welcome old age with grace.

Thanks to the moderator Solomon Pappaiya for a thought provoking topic and a befitting verdict.

Deepavali Wishes and a different tale

Monday, 10/27 is Deepavali day in South India. What that means is for folks like us living in US, we get to celebrate it on the weekend. A get-together with a bunch of friends, a potluck dinner and maybe lighting some lamps and wearing new clothes sums up the make-do version of this widely popular Indian festival.

For those who don't have parents or in-laws visiting, Komala Vilas in Sunnyvale sells Deepavali legiyam or marunthu, a medicinal mix that takes care of indigestion problem that may tend to occur while devoring on sweets and snacks during this festival.

It has been 8 years since I was there in India for Deepavali and frankly, I don't regret it. My fears with Deepavali go back to my childhood days when I was scared stiff of loud bursting crackers and while growing up in India, every year I would dread the arrival of Deepavali day, as it means I would be huddled under the bed with my ears stuffed with cotton scared of cracker noises. It would be a struggle for my parents to drag me to visit my grandparents place, as I would not step out of the house. My folks would compare me with the small child holding the 1000 walla in his hand and bursting it, while I couldn't even bear the noise. I would cry and howl in fear and my heart would beat so rapidly at those firework sounds, that nothing was worth the trouble for me. Over the years, the fear just wouldn't go away and I used to tell my folks that I can't wait to get out of India and come to US, so that I didn't have to endure this day.

Of course, wearing new clothes and enjoying the different sweets and savories and watching all the new movie release shows, new songs, Solomon Papaiyah's pattimandram and movies were the day's highlights. My poor mother would be in the kitchen all day cooking while I would be sitting on the couch watching TV without even an ounce of guilt. Those days, when my dad would tell me to go help her in the kitchen, I would never oblige him. But, sitting in a far away country and after years of growing up, I finally feel some remorse for not helping my mother and selfishly watching TV, while she never got to see any of the TV programs.

Also, growing up as an only child in a very nuclear family, the lack of cousins etc. only made the festival seem even less appealing to me.

I am happy to be here in US for this year's Deepavali too and wishing you and your families a very Happy and Joyous Deepavali, no matter where you are, soak in the spirit of the festival that lights up the hearts of many all over the world.

Puppy meets his match- cute video

I am a huge lover of dogs and especially cute puppies. This was too cute to resist posting- Enjoy!





Happy Monday!

What is your "Word" ?

Just started reading the much acclaimed book "Eat,Pray,Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. A detailed analysis and review of the book will be a separate post later. Basically, the book is about an American woman's search for everything in her life across Italy, India and Indonesia. But, even as I've completed exactly 100 pages in this 330paged book, the author whose narrative of the story is in first person, throws out so many ideas, thoughts and topics for discussion that I can think of writing so many posts out of the readings. It will be appropriate to say that atleast one post can come out of one page's reading in this book, such is the content material.

This will be the first out of many posts to follow from several anectodes in this book.

During the author's stay in Rome, Italy, a snippet of coversation between the author Liz and a friend result in the friend saying that the secret to understanding a city and its people is to learn- what the word on the street is? The friend explains that in any place if you could read a passer by's thoughts, you will find that most of them are thinking the same thought. Whatever that majority thought is,will be the word of that city. And as an individual living or visiting that city, there will be one word used to describe your current personality and if that personal word matches the word of the city, then you totally belong in that place. Makes sense?

A few examples given by the friend and the author are-

What is Rome's word?
Answer: SEX (Since that is what is there on the mind of most of the people all the time)

What is Vatican's word?
Answer: POWER, though you'd think FAITH is more like it.

What is Stockholm's word?
Answer: CONFORM (depressing one)

What is the word in Naples?
Answer: FIGHT

What is the word in New York city?
Answer: ACHIEVE (yes, it is a verb of course)

What is the word in Los Angeles?
Answer: SUCCEED (a subtle but significant difference)

The coversation then moves to more specific questions that the friend poses to the author, which might be worth answering in our own lives.

What was the word in your family when you were growing up?
My answer to this would be Abundant and Religious (yes, I used 2 words).

Lastly, What's your word?
If I had to use this in my current state of affairs, I would come up with Restless.

It will be interesting to hear what your answers to these last 2 questions will be, if you want to share them. What I really liked about this message/exercise is that by coming up with that one word that best describes you at present, it brings about a clear realization of who you are or your current state of mind.

Happy Thinking and enjoy your weekend..

Pissed off

I guess this blog is turning out to be a venue for my rants and vents with life's happenings. So, without further ado, a narration of something that happened towards the close of work day yesterday that still has me pissed off.

Being the sort of sole HR person in my office, one of my job duties is to put together events, parties etc. With Halloween coming up at the end of the month, every year, we have a grand costume party, lunch etc. at work that is organized by me and our Operations Coordinator. So, usually the emails on such upcoming events etc. are sent to the group from me or sometimes by our Ops Coordinator.

C is our Finance person who not only keeps track of our budget, but also thinks that she controls the money that we spend. In some ways, it is good that she has a tight control over our spending so that we are well within approved funds etc. According to me, C is a control freak who always keeps saying that she wished she had more power around the work place to do more things. C, Ops Coordinator and myself all report to the same manager.

Yesterday, right before the end of the day, I see an email that comes from C to the group about the upcoming Halloween party etc. My first reaction was maybe our manager had asked her to send it, for some reason, though I knew that wasn't the case. I was so pissed to see C step on my forte by sending out the email to the group, more so, since it was I who had brought up the topic of Halloween at our last team meeting. She should have atleast checked with me before sending it out, so typical of her want to have power over things. I never interfere in her area, Finance and have no clue as to what gives her the right to poke her nose in my domain. Granted, we are a team and we all come together to do things, but, we do have separate portfolios and it is so annoying when someone steps on your toes.

On the pretext of checking something with C, I emailed her and added a line mentioning that I was surprised to see this email come from her. Thought, she would respond to it, but nope. Spent a significant time venting to K about this last evening. I also emailed my manager venting off about this. Finally, decided to go directly to C and ask her about this in the morning. I had to take several deep breaths and calm myself before going to her, since I didn't want to lose my temper and say something regretable (which is so typical of me). But, at work, I am a whole different self, so when I asked C as to why she sent the email, she had some story about how she was thinking about our big boss (whose favorite event is Halloween and recently how she had a death in her family and was still recovering), so, in order to cheer her up, she sent the email on a whim without checking with me. C had absolutely no remose, even when I told her that I was feeling bad about it etc. She said that I could maybe do a follow-up email/evite for the event if I wanted to, since I was going to be doing the logistics of planning etc. The cheek and nerve she has to say that to me, I just put on my professional smile and said, No, that is fine, you can do it, if you want to and came back to my office.

Change is part of life

The last few days have been a whirlwind of activities and happenings. Amidst all that, the daily routine goes on. A weekday is a typical weekday with the usual waking up, packing lunch, gobbling through the morning's breakfast and beverage and the commute to work. In the office, its going through the same old emails, solving new issues that arise, surfing through new blog posts etc. Depending on the kind of day you've had, the time seems to have flown by or the day drags itself. Come evening, the commute back home, plans for dinner, a quick workout, watching the never ending polls and debates on CNN, the news and its time to hit the sack for the day.

Routine is like my anchor to day to day life. More than the routine, a sense of familiarity makes life secure for me. A familiar place called home to come to, sleeping in the same bed, going to the same office day after day, watching the same show over and over again make the world a safe haven for me.

A slight change in status quo or events doesn't board well with me at all. Forget even accepting the change, even being open to changes in living is not my cup of tea. I know some of my friends who are also wary of changes in life, but, still, I guess they accept it as part of life and go with the flow. There are others who thrive on change, meaning a routine way of doing things, repeating the same activities etc. becomes mundane and makes life dull and boring. New activities, new ventures, or a mere change in the order/way of doing things keeps them going.

My lack of willingness to embrace change and fear of the unknown and unplanned is something that needs to be overcome. Sure, it is not going to happen overnight, but adding a touch of spontanity will sure make life better, it seems. While, even opportunities for taking risks and trying out new things don't come our way often in life, I think being a little optimistic on the whole concept of change will atleast make me look at those as opportunities and not as threats. Writing this post, makes me think that every situation in life needs to go through a SWOT analysis (something from my management classes)- look at the Strengths, analyze the Weaknesses, seize the Opportunities and know the Threats to make a successful management decision.

While, I am may not end up turning a new leaf and embracing change right away, atleast I can watch it from the sidelines and try not to be overly critical of the changes in other people's lives.

WHAT CAN I CHANGE?
By Aldo Kraas

I need to have more patience with others
I can’t fight with people anymore
Because fighting is no good for me and others
What can I change?
The way I think I must change
What can I change?
Get the negative thoughts out of my life
What can I change?
My feelings towards myself and others

Book Review: The Unknown Errors of Our Lives

I just completed this Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni's book, thoroughly enjoyed reading this collection of stories of Indian immigrants who have migrated to the US and the adjustments that their lives undergo- be it connecting with their familial roots back home or making accomodations to the life here or bridging the generational differences that transit beyond seas. Every story resonates with a moving pulse on how human emotions thrive in individuals, families that have a cultural connection embedded in them.

The book has 9 stories and each story is unique in its own way. While every story portrays the dynamics between a parent and child or between siblings or in-laws, each one is poignant with a sense of reality that leaves behind a mark in our hearts.

Most of the Indian families that Chitra refers to hail from North India, especially West Bengal, but, the stories are very applicable to any woman or man from India living abroad. Without giving away the contents, each story has a direct message that ties into the title, the unknown mistakes that we make in our lives. There is a tale of an Indian woman settled in the US who is forced to make amendments with her estranged father when he wants to see his grandchild in his older days. Another story that rings with reality is that of a widowed mother who comes to US to live with her son and daughter-in-law only to discover that her ways are considered old-fashioned, embarassment to her daughter-in-law. A story about an Indian girl who visits India and goes on a pilgrimage tour, only to discover herself and the purpose of her life. There is also a tale about a lesbian woman who meets someone from India in this country and how their relationship blossoms into one of comfort. A story with the book's title is also written to express how a young woman paints about Indian mythology and the comforts that she draws from those paintings to deal with an unexpected twist about her fiance are all woven beautifully into this collection.

While I did not enjoy reading Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni's "Mistress of Spices", this book, more than made up for it. A good read that knocks some lessons into our heads and makes us think about the unknown errors that we ourselves may have done in our lives.

Our Golu for this year

A glimpse of our golu this year for all those who couldn't come in person. Thank you to all the friends and bloggers (some) who made it to our place last evening for viewing the golu and taking vethala-paaku-sundal.

This year's golu was a lot similar to last year's in the arrangement, still using moving boxes for the steps (padis), but got some good information from friends on the assembly of proper wooden racks from Home Depot, Ikea etc. Hopefully, next year, we'll have a much better set-up, assuming that this is a project for K to complete within the next year.



















The new additions to this year's golu were the Dasavatharam set (heard that after the movie, this set is now a popular in most golus) and the Ashtalakshmis (8 Lakshmi's). The 8 Lakshmi goddess being Adi Lakshmi, Dhana Lakshmi, Dhanya Lakshmi, Gaja Lakshmi, Santana Lakshmi, Veera Lakshmi, Vijaya Lakshmi and Vidya Lakshmi.
















My personal favorite is the musical Ganesha set that comprises of several forms of Ganesha either singing, playing an instrument or dancing.

A visit to the temple to see their golu display, eating lots of different types of sundal over the weekend (tasted pattani, chick peas, black-eyed peas and peanut sundals), receiving and giving small gifts as part of the vethala-paaku thamboolam, getting dressed and meeting beautifully dressed women in traditional attire, hearing some folks sing at the golus, the weekend was filled with activities and cultural fiesta.

With just a few week days of the golu left, and with Saraswathi puja and Vijayadasami, both falling on Wednesday and Thursday respectively, marking the end of this navarathri, this year's golu was another pleasant occasion.

Happy Monday....