Anniversary Dinner at Arya Global Cuisine

As you drive past the Wolfe intersection on Stevens Creek Blvd in Cupertino, there is a small sign that says Arya Global Cuisine on the side and "Persian-Italian-American" at the restaurant entrance catches your eye. It is easy to miss this if you don't watch out or know which intersection to look for. This is where K and I went for our anniversary dinner last night. Having eaten at most of the South Bay restaurants to the point of getting bored, I strongly said that we try out a place where we've never been before on this special day.

Arya as the name suggests, does not have anything to do with the Tamil actor, is tucked away as quietly as Mynt is in San Jose. There is ample parking at the rear of the restaurant. While the global cuisine with the Middle Eastern, Italian and American combo makes you curious, the interior of the restaurant felt Persian. Since it was a Monday, there were many empty tables and we were given one right away. Our waitress Kara was an interesting lady who rambled off her suggestions on what we try out as vegetarians and made us feel very comfortable.

The service here is excellent, very personable and pleasant staff who kept showing their courtesies from the time we sat down till we walked out of the door. While we tried the baked Manicotti with its oozing cheese flavor for the Italian part and the vegetarian kebabs along with saffron/basmati rice for Persian taste, both dishes tasted pretty good. The pita bread served was too dry and could have been better.

The dishes are a little pricey, but definitely some choices for vegetarians. Looks like they have music and dance on a stage for late weekend diners.

If you are in the neighbourhood and are looking for a place with good ambience, okay-good quality food and great service, then Arya is worth a visit.

Friday Blues

The past couple of days have been stressful for me. The stress comes from making some decisions that I am really torn between. Having made 2 short 10 day India trips within 5 months gap to attend my parents 60th and my brother-in-law's wedding, there is a need for me to make another trip within the coming months. To someone who thinks that India trips are definitely not a fun vacation, since it involves the physical strain, jet-lag, adjusting to the different personalities, expenses etc. this comes as a hard decision to make. 3 India trips within a year!!! The airlines ticket prices with the increase in fuel have sky rocketed. A flight from SFO to South india via Europe costs $1910 these days. Also, at work, it looks totally unprofessional when I have to approach my boss (however flexible they may be) to grant me time off to go to India for the third time within a year's span of time.

While it is sure nice to meet parents, family etc. and enjoy mom and mil's cooking, the trip turns out to be packed with activities, temple/pilgrimage visits, without a day's rest and becomes so hectic. I am sure that this is the case for most of you where you have an agenda on an India trip, not to forget the back and forth between staying at your place versus in-laws. All this assuming you are on good health, imagine getting a viral infection, a stomach bug and add that to the trip, as well. The hardest part comes after I return, to get back to the routine- both at work and at home, getting caught up on the piled up work, jet lag etc.

If I decide not to go for the third trip, which is what I am leaning towards at this point, my family is unhappy, since it is for another festive occasion and they don't want to go ahead with the festivities without my presence. This puts me on the spot and am feeling guilty, since they are going to cancel the festivity because of my absence. If I make up my mind to go, everyone is happy, except me, since I feel that I've been forced to make this trip, which I don't want to go in the first place. So, ultimately, it boils down to whether I want to be happy or guilty.

Decisions, decisions are always complex, more so when family is involved.

What with all this on mind, I am looking forward to the weekend and my anniversary. Hope that blog is more cheerful than this one.

Have a fabulous STRESS FREE WEEKEND.....

The "Secret" Tag

A-kay tagged me, thanks to her and the secret tag rules, I have to reveal 10 secrets about myself. Not that I am a very secretive person, since I am known to be a blabber-mouth, but, I guess this requires some introspection into myself to see what secrets can be unfolded out of me. So, without further adieu, not in any particular order-

1. I am very strong-willed and totally unflexible in most of life situations. Poor K keeps bringing this to my attention time and again.

2. I've always wanted to be a class leader and happily been that for 4 years during my under grad years.

3. I enjoy and relish my own cooking or home cooked meals better than any fancy restaurant, especially on weekends when I thoroughly savor every bit of my own food.

4. I get angry when someone disturbs, irritates or teases me while I am eating.

5. I had an open awe and admiration, not, so secret, since the whole college teased me about it, for my 50year old white haired HOD, who resembled the white haired Kamal in the Indian movie.

6. I can't get along well with people who are equally short-tempered as me, be it younger, same age or even older folks.

7. For a selected few close friends, I will do anything to help them and will always remain loyal, one such friend is my best friend from college Subha.

8. I have never eaten non-vegetarian food throughout my life and will probably never try out.

9. I like most tall, well built African American basketball NBA players. I think they are really cool guys.

10. Last, but not the least, I enjoy reading Mills & Boon, Harlequin romance books featuring Sheikhs.

Now, passing on this secret tag to Na_an, Cham, Laksh, Bavani and Aparna.

Let the secrets unfold....

Prescription for Happiness

A few weeks go KQED had a late night program on Deepak Chopra who talked about his recent work The Happiness Prescription and also about his book "Buddha: A Story of Enlightenment". For those of you who are not familiar with him, Deepak is one of the most well known physicians in the world for his mind body medicine programs. He has written numerous books, released hundreds of audio, video, CD-ROMs on spiritualism and health. He is best known for his approach to combining conventional western medicine concepts with natural Indian healing techniques for promoting spiritual health and well being. More information on the Chopra Center and his programs can be found on his website .

As K and I sat listening to his talk late into the night, I found myself taking notes of his speech(for those who don't know me, I am so into taking notes, a habit that started in college and continues into work and home life, making me too organized at times). I needed more than a piece of paper to keep track of the contents of his speech and so here I am blogging away.

Deepak's talks are often very clear infused with subtle humor here and there to spice up the content. According to him, a prescription to achieve happiness amongst humans depends on 3 factors- 1.Biological set point, 2. Meditation and 3. Cognitive therapy. After all, happiness is a more than a sense of feeling or a state of the mind that all of us want to achieve and remain at.

1. Biological set point- This is dependent on whether you see the situations in your life as problems or opportunities. It is genetically determined and results show that you can take medication/drugs which will improve your seratonin uptake in the brain and make you feel happy. But, this lasts only for a while and once the medication wears off, the happy feeling goes away.

2. Meditation- While there is a common misconception that meditation is for those who are into spiritualism, etc. it is proved that by meditating for a few minutes daily, the pre-frontal cortex of the brain gets activated and releases dophamine, oxytocin and seratonin like hormones that changes the set point for happiness.

3. Cognitive therapy- When we get rid of a firm belief that is making us depressed, we will become happy. He quotes Buddha as the original cognitive therapist.

Corollary 1- Life situations determines our state of happiness. For example, if we buy a home, win a lottery etc. these are all factors that will make us happy. On the other hand, life tragedies such as loss of a loved one, divorce, etc. make us unhappy. It is remarkable to note how life situations determine our state of happiness.

Corollary 2- Voluntary actions determines our state of happiness. The choices that we make give us gratification but last only for a short time. These are transient and fulfilment occurs when we have a sense of accomplishment and gives us long standing happiness. The golden rule is to make others happy if you want to be happy. This comes from recognizing that we are part of a greater being/world.

He refers to Buddha's Four Noble Truths namely Suffering, The Cause of Suffering, Cessation of Suffering and the Path to attain Happiness to understand this concept better. According to him, like a physician, it helps to follow these steps to determine why a person is unhappy.

1. Diagnosis- Humans go through suffering. Life contains suffering amongst other things, it is important to diagnose this.
2. Causes of this condition- People are unhappy because they grasp and cling on to impermanent things etc. Identify the causes of suffering in our lives.
3. Prognosis- This is ending the condition that has been caused/created by us.
4. Prescription- This is the fun part where the doctor gets to prescribe solutions/medicines to get rid of the condition to make the person well.

This was the essence of Deepak Chopra's talk on his prescription for happiness. While many concepts here are hard to understand at first and even more difficult to practise on a daily basis, it seemed like he had all the right solutions.

Bay Area Desi Women Bloggers Meet

Blogging has now become something that many of us pursue, in our spare time or we even make time to write about stuff. Be it a cooking recipe that you tried or a movie that you want to review or a fiction short story that you want to share or simply a place to keep track of life's happenings, we all blog for different reasons. While, we visit blogs from all over the globe, there is always a spark of interest when you stumble across a blog from the same city or place that you blog from.

Well, that having been said, Bay Area is vast and the desi poulation here is mind boggling. Wherever there are desis, food is a key topic. Indian cuisine is extensive, there are so many varieties of dishes- North Indian, South Indian etc. and it is amazing how many new dishes you can gather out of all the culinary bloggers who are so generous in sharing their recipes with the rest of the blog community.

Thanks to A-kay and a few other bloggers in the Bay Area who met and formed a group for Bay Area Desi Food Bloggers earlier this year. With several potential interested bloggers, me being the only non-food blogger in the area, after a bunch of emails, we met on Saturday, June 14th at the Passage to India Bakery buffet as a larger group, with some newbies joining in for this second get together , including me, Cham , Uma , Mansi and Radhika . Some of the bloggers who had already met for the first time earlier in the year were glad to meet up for second time and they included The Cooker , The Taste Tinkerer and of course A-kay .

It was an interesting group of women who had taken the time off from their weekend routine, kids etc. and special thanks to one blogger who drove down 2 hours from Sacramento for this meeting. While we all had different backgrounds, some even spoke a different language, some more talkative than others, the time just flew by as we made introductions and were warming up.

Hope that the other bloggers in the group, who couldn't make it for this meeting, will be able to come for the next gathering. A pleasant experience in meeting with strangers, hopefully will continue.

To Dear Appa on Father's Day

As Sunday is Father's Day and I am missing the presence of my dad here with me in US, thought this would be a good time to jot my thoughts on the occasion. Also, knowing that my dad reads my blog regularly, this is something he will enjoy reading, hopefully.

As an only child and a daughter, I am my dad's favorite and vice versa- he means the world to me, in every possible sense. As most daughters would agree, a father-daughter relationship is very special in its own way. My experiences with my dad have and continue to be the best cherished times of my life.

My dad was a small-scale business owner who ran his own factory and pursued his passion of working for himself. He was always known amongst family and friends for his strong decision making skills, easy to get along with personality and his simplicity. Unlike some fathers who don't play a role in their child's life, besides providing monetary support to the family, he played a significant part in sharing the burden of managing the home and raising me along with my working mother. I fondly remember my childhood and early school days when my dad would iron my uniform, polish my shoes, tie my laces and carry me to the rickshaw to take me to school. Also, my dad can cook and I adore him so much for his helping skills around the kitchen, he is an expert in making tea and is the one who makes the morning beverages for mom and me.

Appa is attached to his motorbike, since his Guindy Engineering college days when he had a Bullet, then a Java bike to his Hero Honda days which he had until recently. Growing up, he taught me to ride a bicycle, got me my first one in 5th grade, then taught me to ride a two-wheeler on his bike around the playground, got me my first "Sunny" in my 10th grade. I can't think of a time when I've asked or wanted something and he has denied it to me, sometimes, I guess that is why people think being an only child spoils you. He spent lots of money putting me through a self-financing engineering college and then funding me for the most part of my masters education in US.

Growing up during my teenage years, there were many a times when the two of us would get on the bike and go watch a night show movie or go to the ice cream parlor. He would talk about his college days and all the fun he had hanging out with his buddies, my dad was a cool guy at college and still is a cool type to me. What is interesting is, that we share a lot of common interests- like we both love listening to similar music-both filmi and classical, have similar food favorites and even think alike in many situations.

Appa is very religious minded and spends his days now listening to religious discourses, music concerts and reading voraciously. A staunch believer and follower of hindu customs who taught me everything I know about upholding values. I only wish that I could proudly say that I take after my dad in all ways, but, that would not be entirely true. He raised me like a son, giving me ample freedom (though he didn't like any of my male friends) and put his trust on me.

Wishing him A Happy Father's day and to his health and well being. Thank you for everything you've given me- you are the best.


"A Father Just Like You" by Anonymous

"I just want you to know
you mean the world to me,
Only a heart as dear as yours
would give so unselfishly.

The many things you've done,
all the times that you were there,
helps me know deep inside
how much you really care.

Even though I might not say,
I appreciate all you do,
Richly blessed is how we feel
having a father just like you."

NBA 2008- Basketball Fever

While America is raging with the NBA fever as the Boston Celtics clash against the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals of NBA 2008, I too am catching up with this fever.

To give a little background on how my obsession with this sport started- When i landed in Boston in the fall of 2001 to go to graduate school, I ended up staying at my aunt's place for the most part of my student years. My cousin who was born here was in middle-school at that time and an active basketball player, a point-guard for his school team. While, the two of us spent time shooting baskets outside the house, I also got to go along with my aunt and uncle to see all his games and slowly started getting more familiar with the rulles and terminology of the sport. Many of my weekends were spent in driving with them for miles to take him to play his varsity games etc. Slowly, middle school basketball interest transformed into watching NBA, and of course, the Celtics became a local favorite.

While, I've not been watching every game in the eastern conference and western conference, the Celtics clashing with the LA Lakers is something that cannot be ignored. The Boston Celtics have not won the NBA championship in more than 20 years and the Lakers had their last winning in 2004. So, its more than fair for me to support the Celtics, given that they really deserve to win. K thinks that being a Californian now, my loyalties should be towards the Lakers, but, I am not budging. While, he is rooting for Kobe Bryant, the Lakers superstar to dunk, I am cheering my head off for the Celtics superhero Paul Pierce to continue his phenomenal shotting record. Our living room with the 52" plasma TV (watching basketball on high definition is simply super) comes alive during those last few minutes of the fourth quarter.

Games 1 and 2 were played in Boston on last Thursday and Sunday and the Celtics beat the Lakers 108-102 last night. With a NBA pro coach like Phil Jackson (whom I whole heartedly admire) coaching the Lakers, its indeed hard to imagine them not play hard. The Celtics coach Doc Rivers has indeed brought this team together and including bench players like James Posey, Leon Powe who seem to shine through along with cute Rajon Rondo, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce, it is a treat to watch them all play.

With Game 3 coming up in the Staples Center in LA tomorrow night, am counting the hours, I am sure that the Lakers will play hard defense on their home territory. Hopefully, theere will be all 7 games played to satisfy the quench of fans like me during this NBA season.

A Hike to Stanford Dish in the Foothills

Photos: Visual Art Services, SU




Now, that its summer and the weather outside is glorious, there are weekends when we decide to do short hikes in and around the county parks etc. in the Santa Clara valley area. Last weekend, K and I went to the Stanford dish area located close to the I-280 and foothills. The Foothills are primarily a habitat conservation area whose trails are open to the public for taking hikes, jogging and of course to breathe in the beautiful panoramas of the peninsula. The dish is located on Stanford University property academic reserve private property and is free to the public.

The Stanford Dish is a radio telescope that was built in 1961 and is a 150-foot diameter Dish, that is still actively used for research and teaching purposes around the Stanford community. It is operated and maintained by the SRI International and owned by the US government. It is actively used to scan distant planets and galaxies.

The hike is approximately 3.5 miles around the loop and begins with a steep-ish 20 minute hike that is a sure test to your knees. Be prepared to get sore tender glutes the next day. It is absolutely a great work-out during summer time and it took us roughly 1 hour and 30 minutes to walk around the dish. The trail is paved and goes up and down. Cool hay art called "Making hay" statues greet you at the entrance to the hike and good views of Stanford's Hoover tower, Dumbarton Bridge, SF etc. can be obtained as you trudge up and down the hills.

I never realized how much I miss open spaces and furry woodland creatures (tons of squirrels cross ur path), we even saw a bunny rabbit, until coming here. What was amazing is there are folks who jog this entire dish area, you can also see different kinds of people, students, families with kids being pushed up the hill on their strollers, old people who are fit and agile to take this intense hike.

The Dish is not just used for academic programs alone, but, is also used for environmental restoration by the Stanford Conservation Biology program (to study the type of brown native grass that grows here) and for habitat conservation purposes, as well.

If you live in the Bay area and would like to get some good workout, a hike around the dish will surely shake some muscles and burn that fat.

Have a great weekend....

Booky Tag

I've been tagged by A-kay, to do this booky tag. While, I am not a major fan of tagging, but, this booky tag seemed different and intellectual to follow. Also, I just finished reading "The Mango Season" by Amulya Malladi yesterday. Hadn't heard of this author before, until one of the bloggers recommended her other book,"Serving Crazy with Curry", but, since that one was out in the local library, I picked up "The Mango Season".

Before, I go off track to discuss the book- let me follow the tag rules-
1. Pick up the nearest book
2. Open to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence
4. Post the next 3 sentences
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge the person who tagged you

"See the Saptarishi?" he asked, pointing at the constellation of seven stars shaped like a question mark."For the longest time I couldn't see Arundhati," he said. In the Saptarishi constellation of stars, the last but one star at the bottom, which is Vashishtha, has a small star revolving around it, and that is Arundhati. The myth is that if you cannot see Arundhati, you will have bad luck....lots of it.

Now, a little bit on the book..Amulya Malladi has portrayed all the characters in this book with a touch of realisticness. The story revolves around a software engineer Priya who returns to India for a visit during the summer months where mango season is in full swing. Coming home to Hyderabad after living for 7 years in the Silicon Valley, Priya is torn between the two worlds, the people in her life from both the worlds. Not only does she have to battle the differences in life style, intense family politics, personalities etc. but, also carries the herculean task of letting her family know about her American boyfriend Nick whom she is living with and has a relationship with. The Mango theme is very much carried throughout the book as the author shares recipes of Avakai pickle, mango pappu, etc. The book is a fast read and depicts clearly the family values, concept of arranged marriages and traditions of India.

Per the booky tag rules, encouraging bloggers to read a book that they might have forgotten or missed reading, now tagging-

1. Spillay
2. Sachita
3. Na_an
4. Balaji
5. Bavani

Folks- don't feel compelled to do this booky tag, if you don't want to.

Awkward Situation

From the time I started working, I've always used the Caltrain to commute to work. It's just convenient to take the train as your daily commute, since you can relax, beat the hassle of traffic and of course save up on GAS bigtime. Given that my employer pays for my caltrain pass, this has been my preferred commute. Caltrain is very popular in the Bayarea and gets you to and from San Jose to SFO in an hour's time or so.

My boss retired in late January and we got a new boss (who was hired out of retirement), quite ironical. She is not really new to me, since she was working in my department when I first started in this job and then moved to another department and came back again. We used to take the train to go home in the evenings during those days.

Last week, we bumped into each other at the train station on our evening ride back home. While we both sit in adjacent offices and have lots of daily interactions on work etc during the day. It was surprising to see her at the train station as well, after work. Considering that we both have the same 10 minute walk from our office to the station and we left separately. Well,things have changed since the last time we were commuters, meaning, she is now my direct supervisor, it does feel weird to be at this close quarters with her. While we were chatting as the train pulled in, I was about to bid her goodbye and go find myself a seat in a different car and she said that she would do the same. Not only did we both end up on the same car, but, she invited me to sit on the next seat beside her. We started talking a lil bit about our lives, she told me about her family and enquired about my background as well. She also shared that she would get off the train at the same station as I do, she lives in walking distance to my house- can you beat that!

It surely feels awkward for me to interact with her at work, commute back on the train with her after work and also know that she lives in the same neighborhood. While, she is so far nice, very pleasant etc. it still feels strange for me to have this sort of interaction with her. I guess maintaining a healthy distance with one's boss is always good. This will be one awkward situation that I need to handle tactfully.

Memorial day weekend: Lassen-Mt.Shasta-Crater lake

The pictures come first

Our Van-

Lassen Volcanic Natl. Park-


Sulphur peaks



Sundial Bridge at Turtlebay


Tree house inside the Botanical garden at Sundial bridge-
Crater Lake,OR snow covered




Shasta Caverns


















We were 4 couples who rented a 12 seater passenger van, kudos to the guys for driving the huge vehicle through snow, hail and rain. It was a lot of fun with the girls taking the credit for all the variety food that was cooked and packed for this 3 day trip.

Day 1- Our first stop on Saturday morning was at Lassen Volcanic National park, which was for the most part closed due to the heavy covering of snow. We made a brief stop at the sulphur peaks, the geothermal area where a pungent odour of sulphur was emanating from the peaks. Took a lot of photos and boarded the van and headed out to Turtlebay and Sundial bridge spots on our way past Redding into Shasta.

The sundial bridge as its name, is an architectural bridge shaped like a "harp" musical insutment with strings attached. The walkway was beautiful and ended at the botanical gardens area. Highlights were several varieties of plants, flowers, a bamboo made treeh house, fountains etc. A very serene place which was one of the highlights of the trip for me.

Day 2- We drove from the Coldcreek Inn (where we were staying with more friends, Sundar's family and Balaji's family where also doing the trip) to Crater Lake, Oregon. We drove through Klamath National forest and Winema national forests and the scenary was spectacular along the 3 hour drive. Crater lake, as many would agree, is breathtaking in all its shape and beauty. The lake and surrounding area was snow covered and added a Christmas postcard quality to the visit. After a sumptous south indian meal (thanks to the girls), snow fights and several photo sessions followed suit.

Our late afternoon stop was at a small town Ashland in Oregon (again thanks to Sundar for sharing about this place). We spent sometime walking along one of the trails in Lythia Park (that has a river running along thw alking trail abd is full of greenery on either sides). We ate at the Deep Indian cuisine restaurant (hot north indian food) which was owned by Mr.Deep, a former Bay area restaurant guy. We drove back after a tiring, but, exciting day to our Shasta inn.

Day 3- After saying goodbyes to the Sundars and Balajis, we checked out and drove to the Bunny flat trailhead to have a glimpse of Mt.Shasta. A few pictures later, we were driving along the winding roads on our way to Shasta caverns. A boat ride followed by a 15 minute bus tour to the cavern entrance and a 1 hour tour of the caverns was time well spent. The lively tour guide Julie was a major attraction to the guys and showed us the caverns well. The interior of the caverns were filled with stalagmites and stalactites (conical shaped sturctures) and the cathdreal room was filled with them was the highlight of the tour. Due to lack of time, we had to miss visiting McArthur Burney falls and Shasta dam. After a lunch stop at Subway, we arrived back at Bay area on Monday evening.

A good trip with lots of driving (1100 miles approximately), nature attractions, great food and most importantly in the company of friends was a long weekend well spent.

I am Chatty and Nice....

Thanks to Sundar (http://sundar72.blogspot.com/2008_05_01_archive.html) and A-kay (http://madras2madurai.hopto.org/blog/)who've bestowed upon me the "I'm Nice" and "I'm Chatty" awards respectively.

Being Nice Award- This award is given to those that are just nice people , good blog friends and those that inspire good feelings and inspiration! Those that care about others that are there to lend support or those that are just a positive influence in our blogging world!" (quoted from Sundar). He gives me this award for always encouraging him to blog.

While I've had my own share of disappearances in the blog world that can only be attributed to laziness and lethargy, not to mention, occasional lack of quality topics to blog about. I've always felt the comments from fellow bloggers is a huge inspiration to continue blogging on a regular basis. While, that has been my pep-up factor to blog as often as possible, it has also made me visit the blogs of others and see the variety of topics that they have to share with the blog world.

I'm Chatty Award- This award is given to someone with whom a good cup of tea can be combined along with a good chat. I can't think of receiving this award from anyone more appropriate than A-Kay. While, we first started posting comments on each other's blogs, we felt the need to know more about the other person (there was a strong feeling that we shared a lot in common). What followed suit were a bunch of back and forth emails in 24-48 hrs between A-kay and me to discover more about each other. We found out that we live in the same city, our husbands share the same last name, we are both DINKS couple, South Indians etc. If this can't be attributed to chatty, I can't think what else would qualify.

I am so happy to receive both these awards from fellow blogger pals and would like to pass them to others in this virtual community whose blogs I think would qualify in these genres.

I'm Nice Award is being passed on to :

Na_an (http://ag-thinker.blogspot.com) -For always being nice, known this person since college. Also, welcome this new comer to the blog world and to blog more.

Aparna (http://aadha.blogspot.com)- For being one of my early blog readers when I first started blogging.

Laksh (http://www.lakshmusings.com/musings)- A blog space that fosters healthy group discussion topics.


I'm Chatty award is being passed on to:

Sachita (http://sachitaindia.blogspot.com)- For expressing profound ideas and being so chatty (another college pal)

Cham (http://spice-club.blogspot.com)- Another award to add to her kitty, thank you for being the first person to comment on my blog most of the times.

Sundar (http://www.sundar72.blogspot.com)- For being the chatter and conversationist he always is and will be.

Thank you bloggers...

Small Joys in Life

Everyone of us have small joys and happiness that we get out of life from time to time. There are also small wishes and things that happen to make your day seem more brighter and worth living for. Today was one such day for me. With the upcoming long Memorial day weekend, dear husband has taken a couple of additional vacation days off to stay home and relax. While, I am waking up to take the 7:30 am train and get to work, he gets to sleep in.

On an impulse, I invited him to drive up to my work place for lunch this afternoon. We've done lunch "dates" (to give it a special name) before on occasion when K has driven up to meet me for lunch. I took the shuttle to meet him at California Pizza Kitchen ASAP in the Shopping Center. It was a nice feeling to meet up for lunch, definitely a change from the routine eating at the desk habit for me and also felt different for us to meet up in the middle of a working day for a meal. Given, that the day is nice and sunny, only added to the happiness I felt.

Incidentally, at work (I work in an academic setting), our Diversity & Access Office and HR Services along with the different cultural groups was throwing a Multicultural Springfest 2008. This is an annual event celebrating the University's staff and its diversity. Some of the actively participating diverse groups are the African-American staff group, American Indian staff forum, Asian staff forum, Filipino-American community, Disability staff forum, La Raza staff association and the Queer University employees group etc. The springfest includes free music, entertainment, art displays, FREE FOOD, t-shirts and raffle prizes for all staff.

After lunch, we drove to the Multicultural springfest, had some dessert (pineapple upside down cake-yum), got some free t-shirts and mugs after which he dropped me back in the office.

What a nice way to break the routine office mode......now, back to work.

Have a great long weekend.

A Fightful Weekend- Mistakes Made and Lessons Learnt

This was one of those weekends where I ended up fighting with one of my good girl friends. What started out as a dull conversation, due to a misunderstanding, soon became an atomic blow-up and my behavior played a significant role in worsening the situation.

Little did I realize that an innocent phone conversation, that was supposed to make plans for a weekend outing would turn out to be so conflicting. While it has been a few years since I got so riled up and exhibited tendencies and behavior worthy of a kinder gardner, nevertheless, it made me feel that in some ways, I still haven't matured or learnt to behave wiser. When I see conflict with another person, instead of trying to avoid blowing it up or atleast withdrawing, forget even making peace, I charge ahead like a firm headed bull (so typical of my taurean nature) and say a lot of hurtful things about the person on the other end. And, I do all this with a raised voice filled with emotional tension and anger, which only adds more negative impact to the situation. What starts out as an angry outburst proceeds full blast into a blameful tirade, where I bring out all the past issues from several incidents, that probably, don't have relevance to the current issue at hand and what I have is a classic recipe for a snowball fight.

I have very less thought on the outcome of this, on what would happen to damage the relationship I have with the friend and other parties concerned. I am only concerned about getting my pent up complaints out, I think this is a good opportunity to pile up all I have against this person at one shot, without pausing to think even for a second, as to how shocked and hurtful the other person might be feeling because of this sudden outburst. Also, in this case, when the friend was dealing with family issues etc., it makes me feel so bad about myself. I couldn't have picked a wronger time to have this brawl with her.

In essence, here are all the things I didn't do during this fight and have never been able to do during conflict situations-

Didn't stay cool and talk calmly
Played the Blame Game
Got trapped into another fight

While, my friend handled the situation way more maturedly and took the first step in apologizing, she also pointed out my flaws in a manner that was way less hurtful than what I did to her and got me thinking more about my behavior. While we both have a long history and also share a common environment and will be seeing each other often, there is definitely a black mark hole that I've created in this friendship. I hope that I have it in me to things better for us, if not completely normal. While, its very much in my nature to not let bygones be bygones, I really wish that I am able to change that (for my own betterment) and put this episode behind us and move forwward. I am sure that furture conflicts between us will come up, but, I will try and make a conscious attempt to not bring up the old fight or the emotions I felt during it. I also hope to treat her with more sensitivity in the future and when conflicts come up, would rather take care of them right away, rather than letting them build into the kind of fights that can do real damage to the friendship.

Genuine Friendship
By Srimathi Raman

Genuine friends are hard to find.
Friends may not be of the same kind.
Wave lengths need to match.
They belong to life’s greenest patch.
Their nature may differ.
The thoughts will concur.
This ‘friendly’ bond is its own pride.
All other bonds’ envy.
Birth of friendship is not out of compulsion.
This is the specialty of this relation.
True feelings shared are beyond compare.
This makes a genuine friend so rare.
Transparency maintained is super-duper.
Gossips can never hamper.
This has no space for hear says.
Differences do happen; also sorted are these.
There is no place for mediator.
Need for mediation demands a preponderor.
This need reveals the fallacy.
The bond is affected by palsy.
Real friendship is very healthy.
This survives only with the ‘worthy’.
Rareness is the challenge to this relation.
Commonly found is cheap imitation.

To Grandmothers, Mothers and Mothers-in-law

With Mother's Day coming up on Sunday, what better time to pen my memories and experiences with the older female generation. As most know and would agree, mothers are an integral part of our lives, they've shaped us into who we are today and are still and will continue to strive for our best, no matter how ever old we grow. I still see my Ammamma (grandmother) play an active part in my mother's life and how attached the two of them are. A maternal instinct, mother country, mother nature etc. are all expressions that are used to attach the feminine attributes that a mother posseses with other things.

While everyone has individual experiences with their mother, my experiences with my mother are special to me. Being an only child, all my mother's dreams have always centered around me. I was raised by my mother's parents (grandparents) a lot, during my early years (which is quite common coming from India)and also until college etc. hence, I share a unqiue relationship with Thatha and Ammamma, as well. My mother was a working woman, who strived hard to balance the pressures of work and home life. She worked for almost 20 years in the insurance industry, was well respected and loved by her colleagues (fondly known as "BJ" at her office). During her career, she studied and passed several insurance exams to her credit. All this was while I was in school, she made sure I was well taken care of when she worked and never made me feel neglected. I would always find a hotpack full of food when I came home from school in the afternoons and of course, she would also wake up in the mornings and pack me a different lunch/snack for school. My mom took voluntary retirement (VRS) when I was in college to be with me, before I decided to apply for graduate school in the US after my undergrad. Those were some of the best times when I would find her at home with a hot tiffin after I came home from college.

There are many traits in my mom, that I haven't inherited, but admire whole-heartedly. I love her sense of humor (she can be funny at times), her smell (she always, always smells great), and the way she keeps her life busy and meaningful. She can get hooked to stock trading sometimes and pursues her passion. She is very religious and has the discipline to do pujas, say slokams etc. I love her studious nature, even now, if she sets her heart upon writing an exam, she will succeed. I wish that rubbed off more on me ):

Moving on to mothers-in-law, they come in all shapes and sizes and make interesting personalities to study. We have the good types and the not so good types, again it depends on our perspective as to how we view them. I can't help but like the mother-in-law "Marie" in my favorite Everybody loves Raymond and watch the sparks between her and the daughter-in-law Debra. While, my mother-in-law and I don't have sparks like that, we sure do have something nice and different.

To all grandmothers, mothers and mothers-in-law, let mother's day not be the only time when you are remembered and talked about and thank you all that you do.

Grandmothers are mothers who are grand
By:Turlough O'Carolan

Grandmothers are mothers who are grand,
Restoring the sense that our most precious things
Are those that do not change much over time.
No love of childhood is more sublime,
Demanding little, giving on demand,
More inclined than most to grant the wings
On which we fly off to enchanted lands.
Though grandmothers must serve as second mothers,
Helping out with young and restless hearts,
Each has all the patience wisdom brings,
Remembering our passions more than others,
Soothing us with old and well-honed arts.

Everything Mom
By: By Joanna Fuchs

How did you find the energy, Mom
To do all the things you did,
To be teacher, nurse and counselor
To me, when I was a kid.

How did you do it all, Mom,
Be a chauffeur, cook and friend,
Yet find time to be a playmate,
I just can’t comprehend.

I see now it was love, Mom
That made you come whenever I'd call,
Your inexhaustible love, Mom
And I thank you for it all.

Star Mother-In-Law
By: By Joanna Fuchs

Some mother-in-laws are possessive;
Their child they still want to own.
My mother-in-law’s love is like sunlight;
On both of us it shone.

Some mother-in-laws put you down;
They think you’re not good enough.
My mother-in-law shows approval,
Affection, and other good stuff.

Some mother-in-laws interfere;
They think that they know best.
My mother-in-law lets us be;
She’s better than the rest.

And so I just want to thank you
For being who you are;
As a mother-in-law, you’re a star!

Greens Restaurant- A Unique Panfare in SFO

We went to a vegan place called "Greens restaurant" located in the Fort Mason area in SFO for my birthday dinner last night. The restaurant itself is located in the barracks in the Fort Mason area and is a converted warehouse that boasts of lavish wood work and a subdued interior decor. Unfortunately, we didn't know before to reserve a table with a view of the Marina, though, I was prudent enough to call ahead during the day to make reservations for the night. If you do go, remember to make an advance reservation, since this is a popular place in the city.

The staff at Greens were very courteous and the crowd that came to the restaurant seemed so typical of San Francisco, an eclectic mix of several nationalities. The menu has some unique dishes, both under the appetizers and entrees. We had a dish called the Mesquite Grilled Brochettes - skewers of mushrooms, peppers, garnet yams, fennel, potatoes, cherry tomatoes and marinated tofu with charmoula and served on cherry-pistachio couscous. The couscous was like the tamil version of "javvuarisi" and tasted really good. We also had a thai red curry with cashew jasmine rice and mango mint chutney that was also delicious. The dishes had an organic fervor to them and one can taste the freshness of the ingredients and the delicately flavored spices.

We later learned that the chef Anne Somerville specifically designed the menu for vegan taste buds and a lot of the organic produce used in the cooking comes from a Green Gulch farms in the Marin headlands.

Lastly, the dishes seem a little too pricey $16-$25 for entrees and the portions are medium.

Greens was indeed a unique eating experience in the city and will be a nice dining venue for special occasions.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yes, that wonderful second day in May that comes once a year is here again. It is that day where you are greeted by each phone call or email or card telling you that you are a whole year older in just one day!

The day started off with K getting me something I've wanted for a while now, amidst other things...a basketball and a net/hoop (yet to come) to shoot baskets at home. Who says shooting baskets is restricted to teen-agers, ha ha! No surprises though, since I've learnt over the years to tell him what exactly it is I want for a present to make both of us happy. Watching the NBA in full-action at this time of the year, this definitely is something that will keep my spirits up.

At work, in my role as HR, as part of employee morale, I usually send out birthday cards for employee birthdays (signed by the entire department) and also hang up decorations,etc. in their office. This year, the group had gotten a card for me and everyone signed it and gave it to me.

I've picked a restaurant in San Francisco for dinner tonight, a vegan place in Fort Mason that was recommended by K's colleague. Looking forward to the evening and also to sample some of the unique dishes from their menu (will surely blog about the eating experience). Of course, a stop at Ghirardelli square for dessert will follow.

I will just say that with this birthday not only am I accepting turning a year older, but what I'm really celebrating is a year full of learning experiences both at home and at work, new acquaintances, continued old friendships, increased physical activity and eating and more frequent blogging - and all the wonderful contacts I've made through this little page.